पूछ लो...

अपनी परछाइयों से आज पूछ लो 

ये जिस्म की क्या सच्चाई है

कल दफ़्न है जिसने होना 

उससे क्यूँ तूने नीयत लगायी है 

आइने में दिखते उस अक्स से पूछ लो

इस ख़ूबसूरती की क्या क़ीमत लगायी है

आज तुझे पाना है जिसे 

कल हिजाब में वही सूरत छुपाई है

नींद में बड़बड़ाते उन वादों से पूछ लो

यहाँ सच बोलने की मनाही है 

ना खेलो इतना भी ना मुझसे

तुझे बस खुदाई की दुहाई है ।

क्यूँ...

इक सन्नाटा सा है चारों और 

इक आग सी लगी है 

क्यूँ बेरुख़ी सी है हवाओ में

रहम की फ़रियाद सी लगी है 

क्यूँ आता है कोई 

मंज़िलों को छोड़ के 

क्यूँ किसी की रास्तों में

आवाज़ ही नहीं है 

क्यूँ लिखता है कोई

हज़ारों गीत इश्क़ में

क्यूँ किसी के लिए

अल्फ़ाज़ की कमी है

क्यूँ कोई जी गया

तेरी यादों के सहारे से

क्यूँ कैफ़-ए-जावेदाँ में

बस मौत की कमी है ।

झूठी थी...

वो तेरे इश्क़ के फरमान झूठे थे
वो बेवफ़ाई के इनकार झूठे थे
वो दुनिया को सुनाए फसाने  झूठे थे
वो बीत गये जो रोते-हस्ते वो ज़माने झूठे थे

वो कहते हैं कि इश्क़ की रूह मे सच्ची इबाब्दात है
जो सबसे उपर महबूब को रखे, वही सच्ची मोहब्बत है
पर तेरे लिए मुझसे बढ़ कर तेरी खुदाई थी
तुझे उसके लिए मंज़ूर मेरी जुदाई थी

वो तेरे इश्क़ का रूप झूठा था
मेरे आने से दिखता तेरे चेहरे का नूर झूठा था
वो तेरे इश्क़ का जुनून झूठा था
वो सुकून झूठा था

वो इश्क़ की आतिज़्बाज़ी मे
हम झूम-२ के कहते थे
बस रूप तेरा हे सच्चा है
बस इश्क़ तेरा हे सच्चा है
वो तेरे इश्क़ मे दिखती रहनूमाई झूठी थी
वो तेरी सच्चाई झूठी थी
और मेरा इश्क़ भी तेरा अक्स-ए-मोहब्बत था
तो मेरे इश्क़ की सच्चाई
क्या वो भी झूठी थी...??

Just Because..

How I am closed inside?
I cannot move
I cannot say a word
For few days I haven't eaten.
Because my mother hasn't
She has been crying
I can feel it too.
I want to tell her no mother don't cry
But I don't know the reason why,
You are crying
And I have heard words...
Words that I don't quite understand,
But they make me feel unwanted.
I think they are going to kill me.
That's why my mother cries
And I heard what she says,
"How many times are you going to kill a child inside my womb just because she is a girl?"

I wish...

Lost and confused, I didn't know what to tell you. I'm married to someone who doesn't love me which is fine. I don't love you too. We never met before marriage and none of us decided to talk to each other as well.Surprising, yeah!! I was alright with my parent's choice and you.. I don't know what went through your mind when you said yes.
Now that I spent this night with you I realized you are a broken heart, grieving the loss of your beloved who lost her life in an accident. Why I married you, well because I was tired of all the pressures I had on me for marriage. Probably you did it for the same reason. You were kind enough to tell me why you aren't interested in me. Why this marriage will not give me what I must have dreamt of. But I didn't have any dreams as such. I expected things to be regular, to have same things to be happy about and same things to be sad about like other couples but this is challenging. Last night you said "I wish I could tell you how I feel". I sympathize with your loss but no, I don't want to know how you feel, I never want to feel that pain. Instead I want you to feel how I feel. I want you to forget that pain and remember me. I want you to like me as a friend if not love me like a lover. So I say "I wish we could both feel something same which gives both of us happiness"...

Warmth of lost love

find myself covered in the white shawl gifted by you. You knew I like white. I always have. Half of the things gifted by you are white. When I see them I cherish the memories of the time when they were gifted to me. Every single time, it was a surprise a lovely one, a reminder how much you love me and how much you think of me, when we meet after a gap of few weeks. As I walk in these hilly mountains this shawl keeps my body warm and your thoughts keep my heart warm. The departure of a loved one keeps your heart warm and empty at the same time. As the memories make the way out in the form of water from eyes, they also make you cherish them at the same time. As the time passes, you realize that lost love doesn’t make you weak but makes you stronger, that you realize its place, as the time passes. That love makes its place in the deep part of the heart, to give you comfort and solace, a place no one can access, not even you at times. I find myself covered in the white shawl gifted by you. You’re here by not being here and I don’t need you anymore. I have also reached some other place in my memories and love, with the same warmth in a different way.

That someone.

In a relationship you'd hardly find someone who loves you without ego, who'd do anything for you, without thinking. So you want to save yourself from opening up to anyone. You create a wall. You don't want to loose yourself. You want to take as much time as possible to lower all the barriers, or not lower them at all. When he is the right one, after few stupid attempts you don't know what to do but to give up, break the wall and let him enter your world.

You realize how much comfortable it is to make him part of your inner most world. He makes you very happy. For everything he has done, you love him so much in return that he would never regret loving you like that. That's what gives a perfect relationship. Does that exist? Yes it does. Does everyone find it? Sadly, no. Some of us are not that lucky. We have to match ourselves to what is available.

Give yourself fully to someone is stupidity and you continue to live in the world of matched interests, financial standing and castes and assume that they will let you find the one. In all these illusions you live and die until you meet someone, That someone.

Yes I feel the pain

Yes I feel the pain
I feel it moving thru my spine
I feel it running thru my gains
Yes I feel the pain

I know the light is in the room
But I see the darkness at the end of  it
I know all the streetlights were exhumed throughout this lane
Yes I feel the pain

I know the flood
I have seen cities vanish in the storms
I know my fire was exhausted because of rain
Yes I feel the pain

Love and more

I was married straight out of college. When other girls giggled at the sight of boys (I was in girls college), I had my marriage preparations going on. I was 21 married to a man of 40. I had many expectations and so many thoughts about being with someone. Baba told me he is well read and has a stable job and he is not old also. He looked good I agree, much younger to his age. I also agreed. My friends thought of me as crazy. My best friend said "Mala tumi khoob sundar, why are you marrying a guy double your age?" And I told her age is just a number.

He met me before marriage. Told me he was married earlier and his wife died within first year of marriage. It was a love marriage and he didn't want to marry again. Now because of his mothers insistence he is ready to marry me but he wanted to know if I want the same. I had nothing to say. I told him baba has chosen him and I have no reason to protest. 

I was married in a fortnight. He had a good house. Just him and his mother. They treated me well. His house had a lot of books. He was a professor of history and political science. Mostly the conversations we had were related to these areas. I didn't have any particular interests. I liked music and practiced Rabindrasangeet on my own. 

The discussions with him increased my interest in history and I used his library during free hours of afternoon to read and study. After few months on his mothers insistence we had our first child and in few years our second child. Apart from that he never slept in our room. 

Today after 9 years of marriage, I look back. Things have been good. Baba was right. My husband was good to me and provided for everything I can ask for. We have better than decent living and both my children are happy and healthy. 

He never pressurized me for anything. He let me do what I want. He never spoke to me badly, honestly he spoke less with me and he became more distant with time but he is a good father. He helps out children with studies, after all he is a professor. 

But There is something missing. I can't say what. I feel empty. I have tried to increase my circle, made friends, read more, learn new skills, worked few years as well. Nothing really helped me. I have everything still I search for something. The feeling of not being loved, not needed by your partner. I'm old enough to understand it's not what my body needs. It's something deeper that I want from him. I wonder if it's because he's older or he loved someone else that we can't connect. Or because I'm too young and immature to not understand his love. While I have everything that a girl can expect from marriage and still I want that companionship, that love.. that feeling of togetherness. So I ask myself you can't ask for everything, can you?

Unfulfilled

To see you in my dream

Unasked uninvited

Leaves a taste of sadness 

On my lips

Things which had happened with you

Today I'm doing alone

Reminds me of everything 

We have done

And then the dreams

Demands everything unfulfilled 

#TriptoCalcutta

Bluff yourself?

Some memories are strong
They do not fade away
Even though years pass
There still remain in your way

You know you cannot move on
As they are holding your path
You try to move past them
But you know you're living in aftermath

You work on your memory
Try to make it weak
These memories still remain strong
While everything else seems bleak

You keep on walking to continue your journey
Hoping one day the distance will be big enough
But you should still know reality
To your own self you cannot bluff!

तेरी दीवानगी

तेरे एहसास में ऐसे जी लेते हैं

तू हो या ना हो

तेरे इश्क़ का नशा चख लेते हैं 

तू ना आए मेरे पास 

तो तेरी यादों को खींच लाते हैं 

यूँ तो तुझे देखे बिना दिन नही कटते

तेरा दीदार ना हो जब महीनो से 

तेरी तस्वीर ही देख के

अपनी आँखें भींच लेते हैं 

कभी इस ज़ुनून-ए-इश्क़ को

अपनी आदत बना लेते हैं 

तो कभी अपने ग़म को 

काग़ज़ पे उतार लेते हैं 

क्या ख़ूब है ये शायरी भी 

तेरी दीवानगी हो या तन्हाई-ए-इश्क़ 

हर हाल में इसी का साथ माँग लेते हैं 

जाते जाते छोड़ गए...

जाते जाते छोड़ गए

अपने कुछ दोस्तों को 

आँखों में बेठे हैं

तेरी याद बड़ा दिलाते हैं

एक बार जो तेरा नाम भी ले लूँ 

फट से बाहर आजाते हैं 

जाते जाते छोड़ गए 

अपने कुछ दोस्तों को 

बड़े वफ़ादार हैं ये 

किसी और को देखे तो 

सारा राज खोल देते हैं 

बता देते हैं तुम एक ज़रिया हो

दिल में कोई और है 

जाते जाते छोड़ गए 

अपने कुछ दोस्तों को 

कभी कभी तेरी बातें भी इनसे कर लेती हूँ

सभी पलों को याद करके 

साथ में मुस्कुरा लेते हैं 

जाते जाते छोड़ गए 

अपने कुछ दोस्तों को 

आँखो में बेठे हैं 

तेरी याद बड़ा दिलाते हैं 

Enveloped!

There has to come a time
When I move on
When I forget you
When I do not think of you

There has to come a time
When time heals the wounds
When I don't think of you
When I don't become sad
Thinking of you

There has to come a time
I am living my life in that hope
When you are not part of me anymore
When all my feelings are enveloped

You were there!

You were there

To take care of my,

Every whim and fancy

To do for me, more than I needed

To give me happiness and ecstasy 

You were there 

To see everything I ever wanted 

Help me reach what I couldn't see 

Guide me to every success horse to be mounted 

You were there 

To see my fears in my eyes

When I pretended to be happy

But I was nothing but bag of cries

You were there 

When I came with a new stupid demand

You said I'll do everything for you

I'm, my love in your remand 

You were there 

To find more things to make me happy

You pampered me like a princess 

And do what I asked for, gladly

You were there 

To fulfill my every unfulfilled dream

Then you left like it wasn't true 

And I'm still living in that dream!

Without the Gloves!

It's funny 

How you want to talk

And everytime you try

You're sent on a walk

To hopeless places

To nameless streets

To empty faces

Without greets

It's amusing

When you try to come near

And burn the bridges 

You're not allowed to close the distance

You're asked to fly or swim

It's mocking 

When you want to make things right 

When you want to show love

You're asked to commit a murder 

Without wearing the gloves!

टूटे दिल से.....

कभी पूछते हैं अपने आप से

कि तुझे पाना भी चाहतें हैं 

या इस टूटे दिल से लगाव हो गया है?

तेरे बारे में ही सोचना 

उन पलों को बेहिसाब जीना 

ग़म में मुस्कुरा के 

ये क़लम उठा लेना 

और मन में सोचना

कि शायद तू भी पढ़ रहा है 

मेरे ज़ख़्मों पे हंस रहा है 

उन दर्दों में तू भी दर्द सह रहा है 

फिर पूछते हैं तुझसे 

कही टूटे दिल से लगाव हो गया है?

वो तेरे इश्क़ का पागलपन

वो तेरी ना में भी छुपा प्यार 

वो कभी मेरे बारे में सोचना 

वो मान लेना ये जीत है ना हार

क्यूँ लेते हैं मज़ा ऐसे क़िस्सों में

इसीलिए ख़ुद से पूछते हैं

क्या इस टूटे दिल से लगाव हो गया है?

जी लिया करते हैं

कभी जलते हैं इश्क़ में 

कभी ठंडी छांव में रहते हैं

कभी मरते हैं घुट घुट के 

और कभी 

जी लिया करते हैं 

कभी आते है दर पे तेरे 

कभी चुप चाप निकल जाते हैं 

कभी माँगते हैं तुझे दुआओ में 

कभी अल्लाह पे छोड़ दिया करते हैं 

कभी मरते हैं तेरी याद में 

पर अक्सर 

जी लिया करते हैं 

कभी माँगते हैं तुझे ख़ुद से

कभी अल्लाह से दुआ करते हैं 

कभी कहते हैं यक़ीन है अपने इश्क़ पे 

और काफ़िर हुआ करते हैं 

कभी मरते हैं इन ख़्वाहिशों के बोझ से 

और कभी 

जी लिया करते हैं 

कभी पाते हैं तुम्हें ख़्वाबों में 

तो कभी खुलीं आँखों से देख लेते हैं 

तेरे ज़िक्र भी आए ज़हन में

तो अपने अंदर समेत लेते हैं 

कभी तेरी याद में ऐसे आहें लेते हैं 

कि मर ही जायें

पर अक्सर 

जी लिया करते हैं 

भूल गए।

उलझे हुए मन से 

एक सवाल पूछा मैंने 

क्यूँ चाहता है 

जो चाहता है 

मन भी बवाला है 

बोला बस जो अच्छा लगता है 

वही तो माँगता हूँ

सब को ख़ुशी दे कर 

प्यार दे कर

मन का बाग़ भी भरना चाहता हूँ

फिर क्यूँ नहीं आती सुबह 

फिर क्यूँ नहीं जागता ईमान है 

लाखों दवाख़ाने हैं मेरे चारों ओर 

फिर भी ये मन क्यूँ बीमार है 

आदत सी है डूब जाने की 

बर्बादियो के जाम में 

कोई उनका ज़िक्र करे तो हम इबादत करें 

भूल गए कौन वो

अल्लाह है राम है ।।

Ask myself!

Just want to lie down

On the grass

Look at the clouds above

And talk to myself

Answer the questions for myself

What's up?

What's happening?

What's new?

And I want to answer these questions

Ask my opinion

What would I suggest to me 

If I were in the same situation as me

Still looking at the sky

Lying in the grass!

Yes I feel the pain

Yes I feel the pain
I feel it moving thru my spine
I feel it running thru my gains
Yes I feel the pain

I know the light is in the room
But I see the darkness at the end of  it
I know all the streetlights were exhumed throughout this lame
Yes I feel the pain

I know the flood
I have seen cities vanish in the storms
I know my fire was exhausted because of rain!
Yes I feel the pain

दर्द में भी अपना एक मज़ा है

दर्द में भी अपना एक मज़ा है

बेठे बेठे दीवार को ताकना

ख़ुद के बालों में ऊँगली फिराना

और वो सभी कुछ करना जो बेवजह है

दर्द में भी अपना एक मज़ा है

कभी सोचते हुए आँखें छलक जाना 

कभी उन्ही यादों पर बेफ़िक्र मुस्कुराना 

क्या इस में उस ऊपर वाले की रज़ा है

दर्द में भी अपना एक मज़ा है

यूँ बार बार उन पुराने ख़तों को पढ़ना

यूँ तेरे साथ होते तो, ऐसे क़िस्से गढ़ना

क्या मेरा बेइंतहान इश्क़ ही मेरी सज़ा है 

दर्द में भी अपना एक मज़ा है

Wounded body!

All my scars are open
I do not have any words
There is a continuous silence
But there is a battle going on
The silent warriors are killing themselves
Because wars with screams are main painful
But screams or no screams
These wars open all the scars
You have been hiding for years
You assumed that they were cured
but every new wars open them
and you end up having a wounded body!

Flight in the rains!

​

I made a flight in the rains

Against all odds

Against the powerful storm

Against all the pains

I made a flight in the rains

My wings were tired

They couldn't bear the strength of droplets

I thought there is nothing to loose

I knew there is something to gain
I made a flight in the rains

I didn't know my strength

Before I took the flight

Everyone said it's unsafe

I took this flight just to ascertain
I made a flight in the rains!

अरमान

आज ख़ाली सी 

अकेली रात में

एक ख़याल आया तेरा

सोचा एक ख़त में लिख डालें

प्यार ये जज़्बात 

क्यूँ चाहते हैं तुझे

कहदें अपने हालात 

फिर चुन लेना तुम 

वो चमचमाते महल 

और वो आतिशबाज़ी

या फिर ये छोटा सा घर

और हमारी इश्कसाजी

मौक़े तो मिले हैं तुम्हें भी 

और मिलते रहेंगे 

तेरे हुस्न की इबादत में आशिक़ मिलते रहेंगे 

हम भी जलाए रखेंगे अपने इश्क़ का चिराग़ 

तू जाए भी तो ग़म ना करना 

हम अपने अरमानो की फटी चादर सिलते रहेंगे!

Pain

I sleep in the afternoon

Sleep evades me at night

I spend too much time in darkness 

Even a single light seems so bright

I get a lot of happiness

Then I don't see it for months

What I measured in few grams

I have to repay in tons

What I have today with me

I may not have it for years

While good thing go away soon

For long time pain I have to bear!

For you!

All my words came ready for you

My heart always melted for you

You never did anything bad to me

But even when you did

I wanted to change for you 

I was always hungry for you

I always felt for you

Even when nothing was happening 

I was always ready for you

My mind still hasn't changed

Which controls the rest of me

Even though you have moved on 

I will unwillingly, save this love for you!

Strife

Don't break me into pieces

Don't cut me into half

Don't look at me like that

Don't give me that laugh

Don't make me go weak

Don't make me go angry 

Don't let me loose my confidence 

Don't pretend that I'm free

Don't make this world a bad place

Don't make me regret this life

Don't make this an everyday struggle

Don't convert it into a strife!

काश...

काश मेरे जाने पर मुझे रोक लिया होता

अपने लिए ना सही मेरे लिए किया होता
आज जब पलट कर देखते हैं तो सोचते हैं

काश वो पल ही हमने ना जिया होता।

Love you

I am gonna love you

Till the end of time

Whether you say you love me too

Or my request you decline

 

I am gonna love you

More than I have ever had

Whether the world thinks it sane

Or they say I have gone mad

 

I am gonna love you

Till I breathe my last breath

No one can take that away from me

Neither life nor death

अपने साथ हम हैं

तेरी जुदाई में जाने क्या क्या लिखते रहे 

अपनी क़लम को अपने ख़ून से भरते रहे 

तूने कहा मैं जानता नही 

हम तेरे इंतज़ार में घड़ियाँ गिनते रहे 

पर आज जो मैं सच जान गयी 

ये क़लम रुक गयी 

स्याही जैसे ख़त्म हो गयी 

ख़ून जैसे सूख सा गया 

लफ़्ज़ जैसे थम से गए 

तू जो नहीं है तो 

ज़िंदगी में ख़ालीपन तो है 

पर अब साँस लेने का दम है 

अब तेरी यादों के बिना 

अकेले नहीं अपने साथ "हम" हैं! 

एक शाम शायरी के नाम

अरसलान अहमद -

Ijazat ho agar Teri to fir ik baat main poochu...

Jo mjhse ishq seekha tha WO Ab tum kisse kartey ho...

प्रज्ञा जैन -
उसके अंदर

वो मुझे भी सिखा गया 

बस एक जवाब देदो 

जो मुझमें इतना प्यार जगाया 

उसका क्या करूँ

अरसलान अहमद -

बहोत अंदर तक तबाही मचा देता है,

वो एक अश्क़ जो बह नहीं पाता।।

प्रज्ञा जैन -

अश्क़ भी बहायें बहुत हैं तेरे लिए 

पर इस बार दिल पे ऐसी चोट लगी है 

की अशको का मरहम भी काफ़ी नही

अरसलान अहमद -

Bahut din se in aankhon ko yahi samjha raha hun main...

Ye duniya hai yahan to ik tamasha roz hota hai.....!!

प्रज्ञा जैन - 

उन हज़ारों तमाशों में एक तमाशा हमारा भी 

बच गए कि तेरी याद में बस जनाज़ा नही उठा

अरसलान अहमद - 

Wo Bewafa Hi Sahi, Us Pe Tohmatein Kaisi?

Zara Si Baat Pe Itna Fasaad Kya Karna?

प्रज्ञा जैन -

बात तो बड़ी है 

शायद उनके लिए आसान हो 

मेरी बात और है मैंने तो मोहब्बत की है। 

~एक बेहतरीन शायर अरसलान के साथ लिखे कुछ शेर 

जज़्बात

जब जज़्बातों में उबाल आता है 

लफ़्ज़ों का जैसे जाल सा बन जाता है 

कलम जैसे रूकती नहीं काग़ज़ पर 

लिखते लिखते दिल का हाल बयान हो जाता है

मेरा यार.....

ये रात अभी भी बाक़ी है

ये चाँद भी आधा आधा है 

ये इश्क़ तेरा क्या थोड़ा है

या शायद ज़्यादा ज़्यादा है

तुम हाथ पकड़ के कहते हो

दिल की धड़कन क्यूँ तेज़ है 

मैंने भी दिल को थाम लिया

कैसा मेरा रंगेरेज़ है

आधी रातें और एक झलक 

ये कैसी सज़ा पायी है 

दीदार के सदके मैं जावा

मेरा यार दूध मलाई है!

Happy July!

Happy July full of flowers,

Smelling fresh every hour,

The rains and the smell of earth,

Everything is here, what is worth!

Happy July full of birds,

Singing  songs with beautiful chirps,

The green branches of the trees,

And flowers full of humming bees!

Happy July full of colours,

Rainbow in the sky; magic occurs,

The streets are wet and my eyes are bright

Everything I see around is a lovely sight

Happy July season of monsoon 

So many reasons to love and bloom,

I love the rains, love the views,

And when it stops, I find myself in every dew!

Written in collaboration with with Ashish Bharadwaj.

You can check his blog @ http://whisperingtrail.blogspot.in

तेरा प्रेमी

तेरे मुख की आभा 

तेरी सुंदरता का प्रतीक है 

ये मन मैंने तुझसे लगाया है

तू ही मेरा मीत है 

तेरे बिना और कोई ना

बस तू ही मेरे समीप है 

तेरे प्यार ने दी है ये कैसी शक्ति

अब तेरा प्रेमी भी अभीक है 

तेरे बिना हर एक पल 

बेकरी में व्यतीत है 

तू ना आए तो हार मेरी 

तेरे साथ में ही जीत है

तेरा ख़याल - मेरी नज़्म

मैं सोचते थी लिखने से शायद गम कम हो जाएगा
पर आज भी अपनी लिखी हर नज़्म को पढ़ के तेरा ख़याल आता है

और वो ख़याल इतना वाज़ेह है कि लगता है
जिन यादो को यादो के पटल से मिटाना चाहते थे
शब्दो मे ढाल के उन्हे अमर कर दिया है

फिर कैसे भूल जाउ तुम्हारी हर याद को
ओ बेवफा! क्यू तमाम उम्र मैने तुम्हारे लिए लिखा था!

दवा

ऐतबार है कुछ होगा
तुझे भी एक दिन
मेरे जाने का गुमा होगा
तू भी जानेगा कैसे लगता है
जब चाह कर भी प्यार ना मिले
तुझे  एक दिन मेरी हालत का पता होगा
तू भी किसी को चाहेगा
पर उसे तेरे इश्क़ की क़दर ना होगी
तब तेरे लिए भी जीना एक सज़ा होगा
ये सब कहके मैं सोचती हूँ
'गर तू भी तड़पा मेरी तरह
उसमें मेरा क्या मज़ा होगा?
मेरा तो ना हो सका तू
पर तू पा ले अपनी मोहब्बत
यही मेरे मर्ज़-ए-इश्क़की दवा होगा|

भूल गए!!

ख़ुदगर्ज़ी में हम बताना भूल गए 

हाँ ये सच है 

हम तुझे चाहना भूल गए 

बेदर्दी में हम देखते रहे 

तेरी आँख से गिरे आँसुओ को 

जब एहसास हुआ अपनी बदसलूकी का

तब हम तुझे सताना भूल गए

मुद्दत हो गयी किसी को गले से लगाए

आज जो वो पास आया तो जाना 

हम तो अपना इश्क़ भी जताना भूल गए 

जन्मो से बेठे हैं तेरे इंतज़ार में 

इस बार भी जाने किस बेहोशी में 

अपने नाम के आगे तेरा नाम लगाना भूल गए! 

A million lifetimes!

And words may never express

What I felt for you

What you're gonna miss 

What is it that I could do

But then I guess it won't matter

To do what's right or what's wrong 

I needed something like this

Maybe I waited too long

So everyone has their purpose

And it's takes time to realise

I know this relation is not of today

It was of million lifetimes!

पागलपन

गए पागलपन के ज़माने वो

जब हमें इश्क़ हुआ करता था

उसका नाम सुनता ही

दिल कैसा बेचैन हुआ करता था 

गए पागलपन के ज़माने वो 

जब दिल में एक ही कशिश थी

तेरा दीदार ना हो तो लगता था

ये दुनिया की ही साज़िश थी 

गए पागलपन के ज़माने वो

दिल गुले बाहर हुआ करता था

हर साँस में ख़ुशबू थी

हर लफ़्ज़ दुआ करता था 

आज हम बड़े समझदार हैं

दुनिया को समझते हैं 

अब शमा में ही आग है 

ये परवाने कहाँ जलते हैं? 

If I had wings!

If I had wings

I would fly around

I would come to ground in between

I would let them make me stay

Make me remain here

But then I would fly

When I get time For myself

And I would come to ground in between

I would let them make me walk

Because then I would enjoy it more

If I had wings

I would be free

I would fly around

दोस्त

वो कहते हैं ऐसे दोस्ती के क्या मायने हैं 

कल याद आयी थी हमारी 

आज वो भूल गए

वो कहते हैं ऐसे दोस्ती के क्या मायने हैं 

जो कभी दुःख में याद किया तो कभी भूल गए 

मैं कहती हूँ उनसे 

की क्यूँ चाहिए हर काम के लिए दोस्त 

मैं कहती हूँ उनसे

और भला कैसे सब कुछ देंगे तुम्हें दोस्त

पर अकेले का सहारा हैं 

ग़म में रमीं ज़िंदगी में

कुछ हँसी देते हैं दोस्त 

कुछ बेफ़िक्र सी घड़ियाँ देते हैं और

मन बदलने का ज़रिया हैं दोस्त 

अरे वो बचा लेते हैं ज़िंदगी को

और एक बार कह को तो देखो 

प्यार का भी दरिया हैं दोस्त ।।

सवाल

कभी कभी नींद भी अजीब खेल खेलती है
जब जानती है उसकी ज़्यादा ज़रूरत है तो आँखो से ओझल हो जाती है|

और मैं यहाँ  बेठा हूं तेरी महफ़िल में
तेरी राह मे बेठे बेठे तेरी उलफत और बढ़ जाती है|

तुम कहते तो कुछ भी कर जाते तुम्हारे लिए,
पर तुम्हे क्या लगा, ऐसे मुंह फेर लेने से क्या चाहत मर जाती है?

Stop!!!

Stop haunting me
Stop giving me sleepless nights
Let me accept I've shades of grey
It's not all black and white 

Stop coming in my dreams
Stop showing me those gone days
It can't be so clear always
With time it has to get some haze

Stop making me feel guilty
For no fault of mine
I did not pretend to be someone else
I was like this by design

Stop making it so difficult
For me to survive
Only if I had that courage
To take that dive

Stop making me feel I have failed
In finding my one true love
That life will not make it easier
That the turf will always be rough

Restless

I've a million questions for you

But I would keep them to myself

I would kill my emotions right there

I'd let you play

I've had million expectations 

Which I know won't fulfill

I would spend time nights restless

There's no one who'd caress

I've a million tears

To flow away every night

I won't ask you to come and help me

I know I'd survive 

I know I'd catch some happy moments

In the life I'm gonna lead

But everytime someone talk about love

In red, my hearts gonna bleed

What did you want?

What did you want

I never understood 

Showing me you won't come for me

And still showing that you could

What did you want

You're a mystery I can't unfold 

Making me stretch out my hand

When you had no intention to hold

What did you want 

Giving me those midnight calls

Showing that you need me

When everything was false

What did you want

When you could forget me in few weeks

The wound that my heart has 

Even after years it leaks!!

My range!

Things are so meaningless

I don't have the words

When I look for the meaning

They just fly like birds

Things are inappropriate 

They don't have the worth

There's ocean of opportunities 

Fir me, there's derth 

Things are just unhealthy

And they don't seem to change

Whenever I gain power to shoot my troubles 

They go out of my range!

Conscience

Just because

It happened the other way

You feel she ain't right

Just because 

She did what she wanted to do

You feel she cannot decide

Just because 

You knew little more

You feel she is stupid

Just because 

She is a little soft hearted

You choose to be rigid

Just because

Life isn't fair

You feel it's because of her

Just because

She manages to smile

You feel her conscience isn't clear

Volcano

I'm so scared of you

I don't know what to say

This fear is part of me

All night to all day

I'm so full of those shadows

I don't know which one is mine

I've lost my identity in one of these

Sometimes I find it over a glass of wine

I'm so incapable

To understand myself

Unless I know the problem

How can I even ask for help

I've so much pent up anger inside myself

I'm loosing my halo

When it will go off 

It will be a volcano

कुछ ख़याल ऐसे ही...

आपके लिखे कुछ शब्द पढ़के ये सोचते हैं,
ये तेरे लिखे का कमाल है या मुझमे ये एहसास हमेशा से था।।

जानती हूँ मैं, तुझे मुझसे मोहब्बत नही
फिर भी तेरे इश्क़ की इबाबत पे मेरी मोहब्बत छलकती है।।

आज मेरे लिखे पे कोई जवाब नही आया,
या तो मैं लिखना भूल चुकी या उन्हे कोई और कद्रदान मिल गया।।

Life, full of wonders

Let's get lost to a beautiful place,

Let's get away from this endless race

Life is a never ending struggle here,

I wish a place where sun is shining and skies are clear!

Let's get wet in the alluring rain,

Let's wash away all our pains,

Life is painful and messed up here,

I wish for a place where all this disappears!

Let's walk on the dewy green grass,

Let's make life's possibilities wider than vast,

Life is gray and constrained here,

I wish to feel the happiness that has become so rare!

Let's take a bath in the wavy sea,

Let's feel the water and be free,

Life is confined and insensitive here,

I wish to feel the love that has lost somewhere!

Let's climb to the snowy mountain,

Let's reach the place where there are elixirs' fountain,

Life isn't free and so dull here

I wish for a place where my soul I can bare

Let's build a house in lush meadow,

Let's feel the air on our skin and make our shadow

Life is a controlled and artificial here

I wish for a place where there is real atmosphere

Life is all about these small moments of joy,

Hold on to these and cheer to enjoy,

The water, the breeze, the mountain are all within your reach

Just open your arms and enjoy every mountain and beach!

Written with Ashish Bhardwaj 

(whisperingtrail.blogspot.com)

एहसास

तेरे एहसास से तनहा तो नहीं होती मैं कभी

पर फिर भी दिल सोचता है कि तू साथ होता तो कैसा होता।। 

Endless bleed

With silence acquiescence she rose to her feet,

She felt light headed, or was it heat?

She had no choice to say yes or no,

She is just like a boat, which has to row!

She is a servant, who has to follow,

Whatever she pretends to be, her heart is hollow,

She is broken inside, living her life in discreet.

Is there an end to her endless bleed?

Shall she drown or someone will guide her to shore?

Take her in or show her the door?

She waits for someone to make her sit on his heart's throne

But in all those dreams, she finds herself alone...

~Written with Ashish Bharadwaj 

(https://aashishbhardwaj.wordpress.com/)

Uncomplicating the complicated

And here i find myself again

Caught by the swirl of mistaken identities,

While I think I know the truth, I expect some more clarity!

Thoughts swirl in my mind, as i drift off to sleep

They come out from the corners of my brain where even i can't see!

Trading my righteousness for the gluttonous life, 

Where do I find happiness in that continuous strife

I continue my journey in this stormy sea

Never realised the whirling motion will capsize me

Caught in the hurricane I see my reflection 

What has become of me, I have this question

Is it the perception of my mind or just a rat race

Should I change myself to old me or live in this disgrace?

~Written with Ashish Bhardwaj

(https://aashishbhardwaj.wordpress.com/)

O King!

Sitting here

In front of you

I ask you of your stories

I ask you of your life

How did you live here?

And how did you die?

Do you feel the same way

Like I feel here when I lie?

Did you see the clear skies?

Did you see the shady trees?

Did you enjoy the view up here?

With these yellow leaves

Did you want to relax here?

Or did you make war plans?

Did you sing to the music of nature

Or did you choose to dance?

I ask you O King! 

How did it feel

To live a life so big

To us, it doesn't even seem real!

बाग़ ए आलम

आज बाग़ ए आलम में 

चिड़ियों का बसेरा है

जहाँ तुमने रखे थे कभी क़दम

वहाँ एक अलग हे सवेरा है

आज बाग़ ए आलम में

इक सन्नाटा सा छाया है

जहाँ तुम आते जाते थे

वहाँ तेरा वजूद भी ना पाया है

आज बाग़ ए आलम में

कुछ टूटी सी इमारतें हैं

जहाँ ख़ुशबू ए गुलाब हवा में महकती हैं

वही हम अपनी शामें गुज़ारते हैं ।।

हर बरसात...

ना देखा तुमने 

ना छुआ 

ना साथ में भीगे 

उस बारिश में

पर फिर भी क्यूँ

हर बरसात तेरी याद ले आती है 

जैसे ये बारिश की हरेक बूँद

जब मुझे छूतीं हैं 

वो तेरा ही तो एहसास है

वो जो एक नशा है

पागलपन सा है 

इस बरसात में

वो तेरा ही नशा है

जैसे तू ही कही नाच रहा हो

इस बारिश में 

और मुझे भी खींच रहा हो

हर बार जैसे यही लगता है 

हर बरसात तेरी याद ले आती है 

हर बरसात 

यही वो पल हैं

वो सुहाना मौसम

जैसे तुम्हारी मुस्कुराहट 

वो तेज़ हवाएँ

जैसे तुम्हारे उड़ते बाल

वो बारिश

जैसे तुमने छू लिया हो

वो सौंधी सी ख़ुशबू 

जैसे गुज़रीं हो तुम क़रीब से 

यही वो पल हैं 

जो आज भी तेरी यादें ताज़ा कर देते हैं

यही वो पल हैं

यही वो पल हैं 

मोहब्बत

तुम्हारी यादों को शब्दों में क़ैद कर लिया है 

जानते हैं एक दिन भूल ही जाएँगे तुम्हें

तब यही शब्द पढ़ेंगे एक मुस्कुराहट के साथ

की हमने भी किसीसे ऐसी पागल सी मोहब्बत की थी।।

Clout!

​

There are many diversions

In life, we live in

Multiple tides are created

and out of those some we choose

Some are sad ones

some are happy

and so its difficult to take life

as it comes

We get swayed in the one

We feel more intensely about

We tend to become something else with the flow

Either it makes us nothing or creates a clout!

Combination of shayari...

तेरे शहर में सोने के भी जाने क्या मायने हैं
जहाँ आँखें बंद भी कर लें
पर सकूँ नहीं मिलता...।।

Arsalan Ahmad सो गयीं शहर की सारी सड़कें...
एक आवारा मगर बाकी है...

Pragya Jain तुम कहते तो ये अवारगी भी छोड़ देते,
पर ये कम्बख़्त पैर रूकने का नाम भी तो नहीं लेते

Arsalan Ahmad मुहब्बत को लाज़िम है आवारगी भी,
नहीं इश्क़ करता असर बैठे बैठे ।।।

Pragya Jain ये इश्क़ अपने साथ हमारी नींद भी ले गया
जो ये राते हम सड़कों पे गुज़ारने लगे
तो लोगों ने हमें नाम आवारा दे दिया ।।

Arsalan Ahmad Mai hu agar Aawaaraa to wajah hai husn tumhara...
Aisa hrgiz nhi tha mai tere didar se pehle..

Pragya Jain तू है अगर आवारा तो मैं क्या अलग हूँ?
तभी तो इस हुस्न ने तेरे इश्क़ की इबादत की है..।।

Arsalan Ahmad हुस्न की इश्क से जब जब बात होती है
महफिल में उनकी बात से हर बात होती है।
वह कहते रहे कोई बात नहीं हम दोनों में
पर उनकी कहानी से नई शुरूआत होती है।।

Pragya Jain उन आधी अधूरी कहानियो से
हम इतना डर चुके हैं कि
जब कहानी पूरी भी होने आई,
लफ़ज़ो ने ही दगा दे दिया!

Arsalan Ahmad na tujhko hui khabar, na zamana samajh saka...
hum chupke chupke tujhpe kai baar mar gaye...

Pragya Jain तेरे हर आह की मैने भी खबर रक्खी हैं
उस हर आह को आँसू से चुकाया है

 

Arsalan Ahmad Dil tod kar tumne to maaafi maang li,

Ye Batao Dil ke tukdon ka kya karun...

तेरा मिलना

तेरा रूप जो आँखों में बसाया था

तुझे जो अपने अस्तित्व में रमाया था

आज जो मिले हो तो हम पहचान नहीं पा रहे

क्या तुम बदल गए हो?

या हमने तुमने अपना भगवान बनाया था?

हमेशा

तेरे वादे

तेरे उन वादों पे यक़ीन है 

इंतज़ार है 

तेरे लफ़्ज़ों की सच्चाई में

क़ुबूल है तेरी बेरुख़ी 

वादा है तुझसे 

तुझे ना छोड़ेंगे

ना भूलेंगे 

साथ देंगे तेरा 

मरते दम तक 

हमेशा हमेशा हमेशा... 

Mountains..

​

Rediscovered that happiness

I thought I lost

Rediscovered the child

I thought has died

Found that confidence

That can help conquer the world

and not worry about everything that happens

Around me

The lush green

and the waters

The never ending laughter

The tiredness but still the relaxation

That is precisely what mountains do to me

Make me realize who I am

and the truth they make me see!

Just you

There were times 

When I used to wake up at night

To read and smile

And reply back

There was time

When I didn't feel tired

Of work or of sleeplessness 

There was a time

I would sing songs 

On the side of the roads

And rhyme my song

With the noise around

There was a time

I'd make aloo paranthas

And eat outside

Iskon!

There was a time

I was tired and happy

I loved what I had

In what I didn't have 

Because I had you

I'd just look at you

Just you!

A hearth!

It's hard on my body

And I can't keep trying

This is not gonna work for long

It's only some time I'm buying

I get tired of feeling happy

I get tired of being hopeful

My face has to be happy

But my soul remains woeful 

But mother tells me it's the only way

That's the only solution to create my worth

I just have the deliver a boy

Whether I turn my body in a hearth!

Emotions

I was angry

So i shouted

I didn't know what to do

My judgement was clouded

I was sad 

So I cried

It had reached the point 

Where nothing else I could have tried

I was upset 

So I went numb

Whatever thought came afterwards

In some black hole it was dumped 

I was guilty

So I pleaded

But I wasn't lucky enough

And my request wasn't heeded

Peices

I am broken into pieces

I gave you those pieces of me

In the best way possible

I had let them cut me

But gave you the softened pieces

They smelled of my pain

I washed them with the happiness I had

I gave you everything in pieces

But I gave you what I had

From the innermost parts of me

Where they hid

I offered my best to you

I swear I did!