A hearth!

It's hard on my body

And I can't keep trying

This is not gonna work for long

It's only some time I'm buying

I get tired of feeling happy

I get tired of being hopeful

My face has to be happy

But my soul remains woeful 

But mother tells me it's the only way

That's the only solution to create my worth

I just have the deliver a boy

Whether I turn my body in a hearth!

Emotions

I was angry

So i shouted

I didn't know what to do

My judgement was clouded

I was sad 

So I cried

It had reached the point 

Where nothing else I could have tried

I was upset 

So I went numb

Whatever thought came afterwards

In some black hole it was dumped 

I was guilty

So I pleaded

But I wasn't lucky enough

And my request wasn't heeded

Peices

I am broken into pieces

I gave you those pieces of me

In the best way possible

I had let them cut me

But gave you the softened pieces

They smelled of my pain

I washed them with the happiness I had

I gave you everything in pieces

But I gave you what I had

From the innermost parts of me

Where they hid

I offered my best to you

I swear I did!

विडम्बना

मन में एक तूफ़ान है
फिर भी मैं शांत हूँ
जाने कैसे
जाने कब तक
ये जीना भी
कभी मज़ा है
कभी एक सजा है
तब भी हम रहते हैं
खुशियों में खुश
गम में दुखी
जीते हैं
कहते हैं कुछ
सोचते हैं कुछ और
ये मनुष्य का स्वार्थ है
या जीवन की विडम्बना है?

Let it go!

I wish I had wings to fly

Wish I could say things before I die

Wish I could play guitar

Wish I could touch the strings of your heart like sitar

Wish I could do better in life's game 

Wish I could stop being so lame 

Wish I could survive this time

Wish I could become so prime 

There are so many wishes 

And non under my control 

While I try to hold on to everything 

I need to let it all go!

Whys and whens

Why is it incomplete

Why does it not mean a thing

Why does it stick to me

Why does it hamper what I see?

Why do I not understand 

Why do not accept the truth

Why do I keep on fighting

Why is this hopeless writing?

When can the world end

Why am I running an errand

Why does it keep coming back

Why is it a tight slap?

What is it that I need

Why does my heart skips beats

When would it end and be better

When would I call it Good in one word-one letter!

Underrate

There was nothing special with you

Only that I was looking for love

I was looking for respect

Waiting for a gift from above

With love and respect 

You were the first one I found

Loved you so much

Without any doubt

But things go haywire

And I thought I lost my life

I thought I cannot survive

After taking this dive

But I was wrong

And life had so much to offer

But I thought you leaving

Is a bad luck's augur

Things are so simple 

And I complicate 

I have the best things possible

Which I myself underrate!

Promises...

The promise

of hand in hand

of overlaps

of rings

of gold bands

Of acceptance of good things

Of acceptance of bads

Of staying together

In heart and soul

of fighting and making up

of broken pieces

of screams and crys

Of bothering and

At least giving a try

Of many things

Many hopeful things

Many promises

Sometimes real sometimes fake

But still you gain something

Give or take!

Love - A puzzle?

We all have our version of love

Different feelings we have faced

We all have laughed and cried in love

and we all try to explain to understand it

But no one can ever know 

What the other feels

What makes him happy

what makes him sad

Things about love

We all know

We all have experienced

but we can't claim to understand

We can't claim we have solved the puzzle!

Tattoo

The words meant something
Or maybe they didn't
They are just to be told
they don't even give a hint

Because they can be very different 
From what you actually want
Many of these will be created
Just because you want to flaunt

I don't know if I can trust
I don't know if they can be taken on face value
There are few marks which can't be removed
They stick to your heart, just like a tattoo!

Doubt!

Watching that head nod

To everything that I say

And smile at my every ada 

You let my heart sway 

Watching that world changing colors

With your smile

And with every effort you take

My heart covers an extra mile

Watching that everlasting smile

Looking at my face

Of all the places I ever lost

This is my winning race

Watching that heart full of love

And the words pouring out

This feels like forever

Without any doubt!

Reek

Enclosed in this jail

I think of him all the time

What wrong did he do to deserve this 

Why did I let him die

Enclosed in this jail

Why do I not have the power

To go back to the soil as seed

And return as a flower

Enclosed in this jail

Why do I agree to what she says?

Do I have nothing to fight for?

Do I have a weak case?

Enclosed in this jail 

Why is my body paralysing

My heart has already given up

While my brain is still analysing

Enclosed in the jail

Why am I feeling so weak

From outside I smile and laugh

While my insides stink and reek!

Potion

Why do I write

Why do I pour out everything

On a paper which is not going to 

Shout, scream or sing 

Why do I have to share

Everything that I feel

And let myself hurt more

Through the layers it wants to peel 

Why do I feel lost

And out of words at times 

Sometimes say meaningless things

Just because it rhymes

Why am I short of

Words, memories and emotions 

And still write everything 

As it acts like a potion!

लफ़्ज़

चार लफ़्ज़ 

जो कहे थे मैंने

मैं ही भूल गयी ना

उन वादों की अहमियत

पर तुम कैसे भूलें

क्यूँ जाने दिया मुझे

सब जानते हुए

मुझे जानते हुए

इसलिए क्यूँकि

वो चार लफ़्ज़ 

मैंने कहे थे?

तुमने नहीं?

उम्मीद

उन सावन के फूलो पे भी

उन पतझड़ के फूलो पे भी

तेरा ही नाम लिखा था

भेजे थे वो ख़त 

बे-इंतहाँ प्यार के साथ

सोचा था समझोगे

दिल का हाल

समझोगे चाहत को

उन अनकहे शब्दों को 

उस तलब को

उस बेचैनी के आलम को....

आया मेरे ख़तों का जवाब 

उसी हाँ ना और कैसे हो में

ढूँढतीं रही मैं 

जाने किधर दो शब्द और मिल जाएँ

और उस इंतज़ार में

जाने कब मैंने ख़त लिखने छोड़ दिए

और जाने कब तुमने जवाब देने 

अब तो हम बेठे हैं

उन मुलाक़ातों की कल्पना करते हुए 

जो कल हुई थीं

जो शायद कल हो जाएँ

यादों का जीवन

खोने का जीवन

रोने का जीवन

पश्चात्ताप का जीवन

उम्मीद का जीवन

कल्पनाओं का जीवन

There was a time!

There was a time

I wanted to prove myself 

Finding a way to woo you

In your memories I'd delve

There was a time

I just wanted you

By whatever means possible

I wanted it to be true

There was a time

When there was no tomorrow 

When I thought I have reached

My lowest low

There was a time

I want everything to end

A river which had taken opposite path

I wanted it to bend

There was a time

I liked dark more than light

As if being there like that

Would turn everything from wrong to right

Time moved and so did I

Understood it to be a long lost dream

The more I try to stretch my hand

The more distant it seems!

Someone like you

Why do I want

Someone like you

I know you know

I always wish best to you

But still staying there

Even when I move on

Is that being true?

Why do I want

Someone like you

We did well

When we were together

But it didn't last

And we both soon turned blue

Even after all this

Why do I want

Someone like you

What is the point of moving on

If to your memories I'll still glue

Why do I want

Someone like you

Second best

What I am 

Who I am

I can't change

I can't be the one

You have had

But I give you 

More than what I have to offer

I give you all that I have

Love every way you're 

Love every eccentricity of yours

But after all this

I know

I will always be 

The second best 

Love!

For all the words

Said unsaid

I have loved you

For all the expressions

Shown not shown

I have loved you

For all the nights

I cried thinking of you

I have loved you

For all the days

I spent thinking of you

I have loved you

For all the emotions

That I hid from you

I have loved you

For all the things

I'm never gonna say to you

I will love you!