Worth it

When I cried and it didn't matter
I know you aren't worth it
In indulgence and indifference you chose latter
I know you aren't worth it

When I waited and you forgot
I know you aren't worth it
When I learnt what life taught
I know you aren't worth it

When I did what I could
When I loved you more than I should
When I changed from what I would
I know you aren't worth it

Deep down

The love that you gave
And everything that I have
Was given to you by me
Thousand things that I could see

And you were there in the toughest times
Holding my hand, being so kind
You listened to me when I cried
Supported me till it dried

I know it burnt you inside
But you held yourself together and tried
I know you're gonna be there, not run
Deep down I know you're the one!

Princess

You play with me
Play with my words
I am nothing but honest
You try to clip wings of a bird

You play with my heart
Your words hurt like darts
My heart is too fragile
Only needed love drizzle

You play with my thoughts
To change me, something you plot
I am too tired of this
Why then, you made me think
I'm your princess!

Tear

You say you care
You say you're there
When it comes to reality
I see your fragility

You say its all fine
You say together we'll climb
But when its actually happening
Alone, I am struggling

You say we'll make it work
You say there are losses and perks
But when we reach there
The only thing I shed is tear

Disguise

For she didn't have the clue
What it meant to her
Things are just some pieces
She never bothered to put together

For she didn't have the clue
The life is bringing this to her
For all the sailing that is needed
She needs to put her guard lower

For she didn't have the clue
The world is different from what she perceived
And everything that was ever understood
Is different from what she received

For she didn't have the clue
Inertia can be too strong
Things can be blessing in disguise
Everything what's new may not be wrong!

Truths

I wish I had the power
To understand what you feel
To accept it as a fact
To accept it as real

I wish I had the power
To believe my own words
When I say it's okay
When I accept you to be part of another world

And I wish I had the power
To know what I should do
To be strong as I pretend to be
And know my innermost truths

Loose

I roam from one room to another
To find my own home
Where ever I find solace
It becomes a no entry zone

I walk from here to there
Hoping for the hope
If I could only find it once
Without delay, I would elope

The doors are numerous
And its difficult to choose
It's like the person without destination
Is been cut loose!

Tab

Why didn't you tell me
Why didn't you ask
I would have waited for you
It wouldn't have been a task

I wasn't sure, she said
Didn't want to give you hope
For you to walk in darkness
Nothing to grope

Now she thinks why she didn't
But she knows she couldn't have
Of all the things she was going thru
She couldn't have kept a tab

Run

What gives us direction

Is something we ourselves don't understand

We look at the mirror

Look at that stranger looking back at us

Smiling

Trying to make us comfortable

But I am taken aback

Who is he who looks at me?

Does he smile out of happiness?

Or he is making mockery of my life?

And I stare back at him

No, I am not scared

I may not know you today

But I have known you

Known your ways

Known you weakness

But the gaze is too piercing

And I take my shoes

and run away!

It's you!

You meet me once
And things change forever
I don't think I can handle
Even if I think I am too clever

Your words your smile
Change me from inside
The smile that was lost somewhere
Has gotten too wide

You walked to me
As an angel in blue
I looked at you in awe
Realizing, yes it is you!

Between

You are giving me everything unconditionally

As if you are sent by him to save me

If I had the chance to do something

I'd carry you around and fly with my wings

You're doing everything that seem right

With you the future seems bright

If I could show you what I feel

One by one, insides of me you peel

You say that you are dependent on me

I wonder what does that even mean

There's love and there is acceptance

And everything else is in between!

Grew!

It is a lifetime
That I spend
I need nothing
But you, in the end

You are someone
Who is unique
Everytime you say you love me
You make my heart go weak

Those few moments spent with you
Make me so happy and feel anew
Things that cannot changed, are accepted
But with all that, I only grew!

Colored

The beauty

That I missed

The way you put your hair in the band

The way you look at me

The way your eyes look at me with love

The way you say the words that I need to hear

The way your scratch your nose

When you feel confused

The way you look at the floor

When you are too shy

The way you move your head

When I say those words

I don't know if you like it

In your love, my heart's too colored

Dreams

There are days I dreamt about this
That a day would come to this
A night would come to this
Where I would look through your eyes
and see what I feel

There are days I dreamt about this
Being with you and holding that hand
To be able to sit with you
and to be able to stand

There are days I dreamt about this

You smiling beside me

Looking at me saying my name

As if you again can lit the flame

There are days I dreamt about this

That you are here with me eternally

Whether the bodies will be different

And be one with each other spiritlessly!

Conscious

We all have sides

We all have personalities

We are not same with everyone

Not everyone we try to appease

What I think of you

Maybe its different for others

You know you can be anything with me

Together we try to find those answers

It's not about who is best or worst

It's also who brings out the best in us

I just want to admire you the way I always have

and always be conscious

Fantastic

The times gone by

and the words unsaid

The memories that never vanish

Probably because they are constantly fed

The click of a button

and the time going back

Seeing you there before me

The time looses it's track

The smell of your body

Makes me feel nostalgic

Those days and those times

Are more than fantastic!

Red

The pain in my heart
Doesn't know its limits
It expands and takes the whole area
As if it was made for it to live

The burns that it has seen
That no one else can imagine
It does not know where will it end
Or what was its origin

The words that were left unsaid
That pinch like an arrows bed
Its time that you're dead
Till then your heart just bleeds red

The room

The room was bright
With the sunlight
It had so many windows
That it felt like sleeping
In the open
There was air
And mosquitoes
And no one would dare
To ask her woes
She waited
Holding to the edge of the bed
This will change to better
It's only what she said

Order

He said hold on to me
Don't let me go
You know what they'll do to me
From head to toe

He sat there in his chair
And sweat moved on his cheek
Even the thought of it
Would make him weak

He was tied and burned at places
There was still life in his body in traces
He couldn't know what part of him was dying
Wet on his face, he didn't know of he was crying

He was sent home for reason unknown to him
The light was too bright outside he's used to dim
He was asked to drink and eat from his daughter
He didn't know what to say
He's now used to obey every order!

Pain

The suffering
The pain
As if that's not enough
As if we're already not too miserable
Miserable of knowing each other's misery
Miserable not to act upon it
The endless pain
The sleepless nights
I lament
I cry
I travel but the pain remains
The words that I no longer find sufficient
To express myself
The endless search in the dictionary
To find a word
Which means what I feel
But it ends up same every time
Those four words
That same feeling

Comes Back Around

I am afraid of going back to where I was

It was not just the things that I said

and I can ever say

There are things in my sub-conscious

That scare me

That are my monsters

That I cannot let out

That I cannot do anything about

Things that I cant even interpret

Things that I sometimes regret

I want to run away from all that

and I thought I have

But i still hear those sounds

I guess what goes around

Do comes back around

Away from you

If you need some words

If you create your world

I would take it away from you

If you tell me please

If you ask me to cease

I would take it away from you

If you say this is right

If you say you might

I would take it away from you

If you say you’d vow

If you say this ain’t the low

I would take it away from you

Emptyness

The way life laughs at you

By giving and taking away things

That you need

You want

You expect

You hope for

That longing which is your life

Your reason for living

Is shattered

In just one stone thrown at you

From the distance that you can’t imagine

And you keep looking in the dark

Groping for something to hold on to

But there is nothing

Nothing but emptiness

Dream

Sometimes I don't understand the words
Sometimes I don't understand the meanings
Sometimes I want to live like a slave
Sometimes I feel I'm one of the kings

Sometimes words fail me
Sometimes dictionary has nothing to express myself
Sometimes I like to carry the burden on my shoulder
Sometimes I do need help

Sometimes I don't understand what is happening
Sometimes I think it's not what it seems
Sometimes I feel the script is written somewhere else
Sometimes I think all this world is a dream

Soul

On this very day
In this moment
I know you're there
I can smell the scent

When the life begun
And words were spoken
When the pieces were fixed together
Of the things that were broken

When the time stopped
And the memories were made
And of all the pains that were there
Together the price was paid

When the night was longest
And pain evaporated
And from the certain memories
A soul was created

Read

I couldn't have thought it
The way you did
Should I say your visualisation is ugly
or that it's too vivid
It takes me to places
I never wanted to go
So, I prefer not to see
Not to go there
Just with my book, READ