Life

The life comes to a standstill
And then comes the turmoil
Everything is opposite of what you imagined
Yet it seems that it was always meant to be

Everything seems so complex
Yet is so simple it seems
Picking up my cycle I reach the sea
And realize how the small part of larger plan are we

All starts at the sea and ends there
Or rather there is no beginning no end
The water takes numerous forms

and survives all stages it passes through

So are we humans taking different forms at different stages of life
Battling all the time to stay alive
So my life comes to a standstill
And my soul is at peace!

- Padma Madipalli

Me and you

I know I hurt you

I know I went away when I shouldn't have

But I tried

To come back to you

I worked towards it

I loved you with all my heart

I have been in love from the start

I know you did too

That's what made me stick like a glue

But now you say you don't

Now you say you can't

How can I understand

I can't

I tried, so much

To forget you

To not make you part of my life

But you already are

I can't change it

Even if I try

You are what you are for me

and always will be

If any part of you still loves me

and believe that we can be

then, please come back to me

because I want me and you to be, we!

I want to know

Being here with me

How did it feel?

Did it kill?

I want to know

When you said you love me

When you wanted to spend you life with me

Did you really mean it?

I want to know

When you went away

When you started living without me

Was it too easy?

I want  to know

Was I something that comes and goes?

and your emotions easily froze

What did you do to move on?

I want to know

Let's....

Let's fight

Let's blame each other

Let's wet our eyes

In that love again

Let's be each other enemy

Lets be each other biggest fan

Let's be each other confidante

Let's be each others friend

Let's say those words

Lets make each other happy

Let's make each other sad

Let's hurt each other again

Let's play that role

Let's be part of each other's soul

Let's fall in love 

Let's be us again

Fragments

I wish I could go back

To those times when we were together

and rewrite our story

To be just perfect

Those times when we laughed together

and I cried resting my head on your shoulder

When we walked on the streets hand in hand

and I sang on your guitar as if we are a band

Those times when you cooked for me

To see you smile made me glee

When you gave me that silver chain

When we kissed each other standing in the rain

I wish I could go back

To relive each of those moments

To live them as a whole

or even in fragments!

You

The silence is loud

My mind is in a cloud

The feelings under a drought

Waiting for the rain of your love

The sounds are deafening

I hear my thoughts screaming

Your name

Telling me those memories 

Repeating those words you said

My vision's playing game

Drawing something in a frame

I know it's your face

Shining with His grace

The wind blowing here

Carries you fragrance

and it makes me nostalgic

Waiting for your presence with patience!

Easy - Difficult

It's easy to claim, you love somebody
Easy to demand their love in return
But difficult to love someone truly
Difficult to let your heart burn

It's easy to blame someone for your misery
Easy to demand the release
Difficult to accept the reality
Difficult to let your emotions freeze

It's easy to want somebody
Easy to demand captivity
Difficult to let them go
And still love after making them free!

भूलना

वो कहते हैं भूल जाऊँ तुम्हे
कहते हैं की तुम सिर्फ आदत हों
सिर्फ मेरी दिन चर्या का हिस्सा थे
तो क्यूं ना भूल जाऊँ तुम्हे

पर कैसे समझाऊं कि तुम क्या हों
तुम मेरी आदत नहीँ मेर जीवन हों
दिनचर्या नहीँ मेर नज़रिया हों
ये बेह्ती हवा जैस तेरा ही संदेश है
ये पेड़ों के पत्ते जैसे तेरे गीत गाते हों

जैसे मेरी सोच मेरी नहीँ तेरी हों
वो हर सवाल जिसका जवाब कल ना था
आज तू दे रहा है
मेरे अस्तित्व और जीवन की ऎ परिभाषा
कैसे बताऊँ इन्हें की नहीँ भूल सकती तुम्हे

My Demons

Its not you

Not your love

Not your memories

Not your words

It's my demons

Inside my heart

Inside my brain

Inside my thoughts

That's where they hide

That's where they trouble me

Make me miserable

Telling me what I fear

Taking away what I hold dear

You are long gone

Too far to do something to me

It's me

Myself against me!

Full

You changed my days and nights

You came to my life

as a shining armored knight

You made me look at the world

beyond my horizons

You clicked something

and you changed the world

and gave me wings

I don't need no red bull

I don't need no push

You have become my constant pull

Making my heart and life full!

Who is She

Saw her sitting on the bench on the sand

The waves came and went away

but they couldn't touch her 

She sat there 

Digging her feet in the sand

She was holding a book in her hand

which was my all time favorite

her brown hair covered her face,

as the wind blew

as the sea breeze came

and touched her face

She was lost in her thoughts

She looked somewhere

Looking beyond the sun

Beyond the horizons

She, I guess is me!

Chance - No Chance!

Whatever I say to you

To convince you

To ask you to come back to me

I know it isn't working

I ask you

But I get no answer

I look inside my own heart

No answers, Just million thoughts

I try to blame myself 

For pushing you away

But even that doesn't change

My love for you

And now I 

I know you learnt something

And now I 

I know you wouldn't wanna fall in love with me

Even if given a chance

Hate you?

Love and hatred
Sides of the same coin
Can I ever hate you
With the same intensity
With which I loved?

For you have given me no reason to
Still I find myself longing
For hatred to replace the love
To feel free for that constant
Longing for you

Will it help?
Can hatred help me to get over you?
Coz even if I hate you
You'll still be part of my day and night
Still be the topic of my words and my sight

आशा

आशाओ से परे वो आसमाँ होगा
जहा सपनो का संसार होगा
जहा दोपहर के बाद शाम का समाँ होगा
जहा अपना ईमान अपना खुदा होगा

जब धरती के आँचल से कोपले फूटेंगी
जब नादिया समंदर से अपना रिश्ता गूँथेगी
जब सच्चाई और ईमानदारी पे संसार चले
जब हर चीज़ का आधार प्यार बने

जहाँ किसान और व्यापारी में कोई फ़र्क ना हो
जहाँ अधर्मियो का बोल बाला ना हो
ऐसे ही संसार की आशा रखते हैं हम
हटे सब अहंकार और सारे गम

Courage

When you say you weren't here

I don't believe you

How can I?

You have never given me a reason

You have lied

I never asked you

Have always shied

You played those games with me

In which you were already expert

and I had no reason to see

beyond what I saw

My mind was under your spell

Won't dare to utter a word

Even if I was going through hell

I knew I wouldn't be heard

But what I had forgotten

I had stopped listening to myself

It wasn't who needed to know

It was me

Whom I needed to show

It takes courage

To break through those shackles

You put yourself into

and now I know I am strong enough

To sail my boat

Even when the waters are rough!

Silence

Silence can have different meanings

Sometimes I enjoy it

Sometimes I embrace it

Coz I feel ruined

Silence is part of me

It surfaces in different moods

Sometimes happy, sometimes sad,

Sometimes it can too be crude

The thoughtful process

I engross myself into

Makes me long for silence

and be part of something

which was long due!

Beyond Time!

The place has something to do with me

It makes me sad and nostalgic

I might have belonged there

When I see it, something ticks

The names sound familiar

The roads feel my own

I feel a different energy

As if to me, it was always known

I know I have a connection

I know it was mine

Experiences might differ in every birth

but what I feel is beyond time

Insipid

I am easily cheated

I generally give up

I gave you what what I should

but I never could

I try to find answers

To why it didn't

I feel the sadness and the anger

Just needed a hint

We always fought

I may have been timid

I reason I know now was,

That our love was, insipid

The gossip lovers

People are looking for cheap gossip. Something that satisfies their tongues. They may pretend to be your friend but all they are looking for is juicy stuff. Sometimes you also believe in them, their stories only to later realise you've been a fool. They hardly care and then they also blame you for not being open to them. They may not use it against you but it's something they need to satify in their brain some part of brain left or right who knows?
Unless you answer they keep pushing and digging to get some dirt in their hands that they can use to build palaces of words. These palaces are also temporary for none is interested in others pain and misery for long. These words are ice bricks and such palaces melt every time they are shared with one more person. Even they loose to desire to share it anymore and then they hunt for other misery or pain!

Thousand miles

A thousand miles away
When a mother sings for his son
I hear them
Crying, making for the run

A thousand miles away
When I hear a bird shrieking
I hear in it's voice
Pain and longing

A thousand miles away
When you sing
I hear the bells of
Memories it rings

His name!

What's in the name
You ask me his name
You ask me
Who has lit that flame

How can I show you his heart
How can I explain why we can't be apart
How can I tell you what he did
How can I show how my heart just slid

You ask me his name
His name gives nothing of his personality
His name isn't his only identity
Saying it, would only make me nervous
For you, it won't serve any purpose

What's in the name,
Ask me, after meeting him
What I became!

Countless dressings!

The life and death
The dreams we take to our beds
The life so miraculous
The feelings so sumptuous

The aftermath of love
The end of a celebration
The tinge of joyousness it leaves
And what one's soul achieves

Light the sun brings
The treasure sea keeps
The messages wind comes with
Life the soil creates

Small happiness of life
Our blessings
One soul in every birth
And its countless dressings!

Play called life

Someone once said
We are all playing our roles
On this stage called world
Created by Him

But I say
We act all the time
Knowingly or unknowingly

When a wife sends his husband to border
She acts to be strong and happy
When a girl leaves her father's house after wedding
He pretends, even though its tears his heart is shedding

When I cross my ex lover happy in his life
When I see parents of a child who hasn't survived
When I see the false anger wife shows to her husband
When I see an actor nominated waiting at sone award function grand
We are all acting in this play called life..

Me, with myself!

Sometimes I am so lonely

I ask myself to accompany me

For I have forgotten how it is

and I forget I am already, Me

Sometimes I am so lost

I don't know who is who

Then I ask myself to join me

For a drink or two

Sometimes I am so confused

I can't relate to myself

I feel different from this mind I have

and I realise its time some memories I shelve

Sometimes I feel so deluded

I see me, different from myself

it's then, I feel not so secluded

and in my own mind I delve!

स्वार्थ और निःस्वार्थ

विश्वास खुद पर
उमीदों पर
जब टूटने लगता है
जब उस ऐलान के बाद भी
सब खोखला लगता है

जब अपनी उमीदें
खुद से डगमगाने लगें
जब वहाँ पहुँच के
क़दम वापस उठने लगें

जब स्वयं दोषारोपण का शिकार ढूँढ़ने लगें
जब पीड़ा में भी एक आनँद आने लगें
उस दिन मेरे मित्र
तुम आना मेरे पास
तब समझोगे मेरी भावनाओ का
स्वार्थ और निःस्वार्थ

A beautiful tryst!

It's something I want

I crave for

I know it's not needed

Something I can become slave of

It may be temporary

For wants always change

It may be normal

I know it's not strange

Habits have their own calling

Sometimes with them, I keep brawling

but I know I have to resist

Else it will always be a beautiful tryst!

Intense

It goes without saying

How you feel

When you pushed to that level

where your mind just cannot work anymore

or probably it becomes more intense

more involved

more tired

more in pain

more brightened

more enlightened

It takes you to the level

where you are no more pushed by someone else

but your own self

and that's what you want to do

to reach!

इज़हार

क्या खूबसूरत  जज्बात हैं
जब आने वाले कल की
कोई ख़बर नहीँ
जब ये ना समझ आये
कि तेरा दीदार ज्यादा ख़ूबसूरत है
या  तेरे आने का इन्तेज़ार
जब तेरे सपने ज़्यादा ख़ूबसूरत हैं
या उनका होना साकार
जब ये समझ ना आये
कि तुझे चाहना ज्यादा ख़ूबसूरत है
या तेरा इज़हार

This Jungle we call society!

Who are we

We have our self created world

Self created egos

We do not know what we are

Until we are left alone in this cruel jungle

This jungle we call society

Which has its own rules

with no meanings

And then it kicks

where it hurts bad

We pacify ourselves

hiding behind our egos

We don't surrender

We don't change

We are not flexible

and then we try to find

A way back

Way back into the world

Where we can still satisfy ourselves

Some put efforts in right direction

and they get it

Rest.. Alas!

are still part of the jungle!

None is happy

None is content

Everyone is full of

despair and contempt!

Answers, anyone?

It's sad people are killed like that. Really sad. Anyone can come, fire bullets and ruin our home, bloodstain our sheets and kill us. and what wrong did they do?

The killings at border is nothing new but on the auspicious day of Eid, when everyone was busy celebrating some people had other plans in mind. To kill. To derive pleasure out of it. Sadist.

Indian soldiers also killed people on the other side but what good does it do? How long things are going to be like this and we are just going to react to it?

When will this stop, I ask myself and other people. I ask those who should be better equipped to answer this question but no one has the answer.

All over the world, people are killed in the name of religion, land and righteousness. People get killed and everything continues as before. No one cares about anyone who died. Oh just 10 people! 20 people! I know this too. Maybe we all are hypocrites 'coz it hurt more when people in my land got killed.

If somebody has answers, please tell me. Where are we going? Are we going to clear the human race from the Earth, killing each other? Are we ever going to be free of terrorism? Will be ever have peace? Will there be a day when people won't fear for their lives? When staying in different parts of the world wouldn't change your chances of living some decent years at our own conditions?

Answers, anyone?

Exile

Exile may not be the death

It can be something afresh

Something that you never knew

Something that was long due

It may bring new avenues

And was just a reason

because of which you grew

It may look like a treason

but may bring even better seasons

Exile may bring happiness

It may bring independence

You may learn to live on your own

Change you completely from flesh to bone!

Start of something new

The excitement it brings

To my heart it clings

The way you make it beat

When our eyes meet

When it reaches the road

When we walked and strode

It ends at my humble abode

The feelings it brings to explode

Is it an old story told anew

or start of something fresh and new

Is is when writing meets the presentation

Is it my reparation and my redemption?

उपकार

उन जख्मों को अब सेहला भी दो
कि जिनमे मलहम लगा नही
उन अश्को को पौंछ भी दो
कि जिनमें तेरा नशा सही

क्या है उस आसमां की गेहराई में
कि जहाँ फँसा है ये जीवन
क्या है उस स्वप्न लोक की परछाई में
जहाँ सुनी थी वो गर्जन

मुक्त करो अब इस बंधन से
जो कभी पूर्ण संसार था
जीवन का तूने अर्थ समझाया
सच यही तेरा उपकार था

Dreams

On the mountains where I fly
Like a free bird
Where neither I nor my dreams
Are caged

I have to leave this place
To join everyone in the rat race
To fulfil my dreams
Where every particle beams

The world should not stop
For I need to go back to mine
To fulfill one dream I cannot cage another
Live where its magic my world, ushers

Reality and myth

I find myself into that world
Where I couldn't have reached without you
I wonder its going to stay
Or just a temporary due

It's a feeling I've never felt
It is something with which I never dealt
It's something that now interests me
Thinking about it, my heart just melts

I pray you stay with me
For you have given me, myself
For you are something I want to live with
Away from the world of reality and myth!

The way!

The way we talk night and day
The way he laughs at everything I say
The way he reaches for the door
The way he is always looking for something more

The way he looks at me when we talk
The way he appreciates and never mocks
The way he enlightens me with his views
The way he always adds something new

The way my mind replays our conversations when he's gone
I wonder if my heart he has already won
The way he acknowledges everything I propose
Is it here to stay or
Is it something that just comes and goes!

No clue!

Her beauty
The names that she gives me
And the playful banter
We engross ourselves into

The way she wears her duppatta
The charming way she walks into the room
When she starts discussions on vedas
And talks about planets and the moons

The way her hair fall upon her cheeks
The way her big eyes look into me
Is this love, I'm falling into?
Or something of which I've got no clue!