तेरा ख़याल - मेरी नज़्म

मैं सोचते थी लिखने से शायद गम कम हो जाएगा
पर आज भी अपनी लिखी हर नज़्म को पढ़ के तेरा ख़याल आता है

और वो ख़याल इतना वाज़ेह है कि लगता है
जिन यादो को यादो के पटल से मिटाना चाहते थे
शब्दो मे ढाल के उन्हे अमर कर दिया है

फिर कैसे भूल जाउ तुम्हारी हर याद को
ओ बेवफा! क्यू तमाम उम्र मैने तुम्हारे लिए लिखा था!

दवा

ऐतबार है कुछ होगा
तुझे भी एक दिन
मेरे जाने का गुमा होगा
तू भी जानेगा कैसे लगता है
जब चाह कर भी प्यार ना मिले
तुझे  एक दिन मेरी हालत का पता होगा
तू भी किसी को चाहेगा
पर उसे तेरे इश्क़ की क़दर ना होगी
तब तेरे लिए भी जीना एक सज़ा होगा
ये सब कहके मैं सोचती हूँ
'गर तू भी तड़पा मेरी तरह
उसमें मेरा क्या मज़ा होगा?
मेरा तो ना हो सका तू
पर तू पा ले अपनी मोहब्बत
यही मेरे मर्ज़-ए-इश्क़की दवा होगा|

भूल गए!!

ख़ुदगर्ज़ी में हम बताना भूल गए 

हाँ ये सच है 

हम तुझे चाहना भूल गए 

बेदर्दी में हम देखते रहे 

तेरी आँख से गिरे आँसुओ को 

जब एहसास हुआ अपनी बदसलूकी का

तब हम तुझे सताना भूल गए

मुद्दत हो गयी किसी को गले से लगाए

आज जो वो पास आया तो जाना 

हम तो अपना इश्क़ भी जताना भूल गए 

जन्मो से बेठे हैं तेरे इंतज़ार में 

इस बार भी जाने किस बेहोशी में 

अपने नाम के आगे तेरा नाम लगाना भूल गए! 

A million lifetimes!

And words may never express

What I felt for you

What you're gonna miss 

What is it that I could do

But then I guess it won't matter

To do what's right or what's wrong 

I needed something like this

Maybe I waited too long

So everyone has their purpose

And it's takes time to realise

I know this relation is not of today

It was of million lifetimes!

पागलपन

गए पागलपन के ज़माने वो

जब हमें इश्क़ हुआ करता था

उसका नाम सुनता ही

दिल कैसा बेचैन हुआ करता था 

गए पागलपन के ज़माने वो 

जब दिल में एक ही कशिश थी

तेरा दीदार ना हो तो लगता था

ये दुनिया की ही साज़िश थी 

गए पागलपन के ज़माने वो

दिल गुले बाहर हुआ करता था

हर साँस में ख़ुशबू थी

हर लफ़्ज़ दुआ करता था 

आज हम बड़े समझदार हैं

दुनिया को समझते हैं 

अब शमा में ही आग है 

ये परवाने कहाँ जलते हैं? 

If I had wings!

If I had wings

I would fly around

I would come to ground in between

I would let them make me stay

Make me remain here

But then I would fly

When I get time For myself

And I would come to ground in between

I would let them make me walk

Because then I would enjoy it more

If I had wings

I would be free

I would fly around

दोस्त

वो कहते हैं ऐसे दोस्ती के क्या मायने हैं 

कल याद आयी थी हमारी 

आज वो भूल गए

वो कहते हैं ऐसे दोस्ती के क्या मायने हैं 

जो कभी दुःख में याद किया तो कभी भूल गए 

मैं कहती हूँ उनसे 

की क्यूँ चाहिए हर काम के लिए दोस्त 

मैं कहती हूँ उनसे

और भला कैसे सब कुछ देंगे तुम्हें दोस्त

पर अकेले का सहारा हैं 

ग़म में रमीं ज़िंदगी में

कुछ हँसी देते हैं दोस्त 

कुछ बेफ़िक्र सी घड़ियाँ देते हैं और

मन बदलने का ज़रिया हैं दोस्त 

अरे वो बचा लेते हैं ज़िंदगी को

और एक बार कह को तो देखो 

प्यार का भी दरिया हैं दोस्त ।।

सवाल

कभी कभी नींद भी अजीब खेल खेलती है
जब जानती है उसकी ज़्यादा ज़रूरत है तो आँखो से ओझल हो जाती है|

और मैं यहाँ  बेठा हूं तेरी महफ़िल में
तेरी राह मे बेठे बेठे तेरी उलफत और बढ़ जाती है|

तुम कहते तो कुछ भी कर जाते तुम्हारे लिए,
पर तुम्हे क्या लगा, ऐसे मुंह फेर लेने से क्या चाहत मर जाती है?

Stop!!!

Stop haunting me
Stop giving me sleepless nights
Let me accept I've shades of grey
It's not all black and white 

Stop coming in my dreams
Stop showing me those gone days
It can't be so clear always
With time it has to get some haze

Stop making me feel guilty
For no fault of mine
I did not pretend to be someone else
I was like this by design

Stop making it so difficult
For me to survive
Only if I had that courage
To take that dive

Stop making me feel I have failed
In finding my one true love
That life will not make it easier
That the turf will always be rough

Restless

I've a million questions for you

But I would keep them to myself

I would kill my emotions right there

I'd let you play

I've had million expectations 

Which I know won't fulfill

I would spend time nights restless

There's no one who'd caress

I've a million tears

To flow away every night

I won't ask you to come and help me

I know I'd survive 

I know I'd catch some happy moments

In the life I'm gonna lead

But everytime someone talk about love

In red, my hearts gonna bleed

What did you want?

What did you want

I never understood 

Showing me you won't come for me

And still showing that you could

What did you want

You're a mystery I can't unfold 

Making me stretch out my hand

When you had no intention to hold

What did you want 

Giving me those midnight calls

Showing that you need me

When everything was false

What did you want

When you could forget me in few weeks

The wound that my heart has 

Even after years it leaks!!

My range!

Things are so meaningless

I don't have the words

When I look for the meaning

They just fly like birds

Things are inappropriate 

They don't have the worth

There's ocean of opportunities 

Fir me, there's derth 

Things are just unhealthy

And they don't seem to change

Whenever I gain power to shoot my troubles 

They go out of my range!

Conscience

Just because

It happened the other way

You feel she ain't right

Just because 

She did what she wanted to do

You feel she cannot decide

Just because 

You knew little more

You feel she is stupid

Just because 

She is a little soft hearted

You choose to be rigid

Just because

Life isn't fair

You feel it's because of her

Just because

She manages to smile

You feel her conscience isn't clear

Volcano

I'm so scared of you

I don't know what to say

This fear is part of me

All night to all day

I'm so full of those shadows

I don't know which one is mine

I've lost my identity in one of these

Sometimes I find it over a glass of wine

I'm so incapable

To understand myself

Unless I know the problem

How can I even ask for help

I've so much pent up anger inside myself

I'm loosing my halo

When it will go off 

It will be a volcano

कुछ ख़याल ऐसे ही...

आपके लिखे कुछ शब्द पढ़के ये सोचते हैं,
ये तेरे लिखे का कमाल है या मुझमे ये एहसास हमेशा से था।।

जानती हूँ मैं, तुझे मुझसे मोहब्बत नही
फिर भी तेरे इश्क़ की इबाबत पे मेरी मोहब्बत छलकती है।।

आज मेरे लिखे पे कोई जवाब नही आया,
या तो मैं लिखना भूल चुकी या उन्हे कोई और कद्रदान मिल गया।।

Life, full of wonders

Let's get lost to a beautiful place,

Let's get away from this endless race

Life is a never ending struggle here,

I wish a place where sun is shining and skies are clear!

Let's get wet in the alluring rain,

Let's wash away all our pains,

Life is painful and messed up here,

I wish for a place where all this disappears!

Let's walk on the dewy green grass,

Let's make life's possibilities wider than vast,

Life is gray and constrained here,

I wish to feel the happiness that has become so rare!

Let's take a bath in the wavy sea,

Let's feel the water and be free,

Life is confined and insensitive here,

I wish to feel the love that has lost somewhere!

Let's climb to the snowy mountain,

Let's reach the place where there are elixirs' fountain,

Life isn't free and so dull here

I wish for a place where my soul I can bare

Let's build a house in lush meadow,

Let's feel the air on our skin and make our shadow

Life is a controlled and artificial here

I wish for a place where there is real atmosphere

Life is all about these small moments of joy,

Hold on to these and cheer to enjoy,

The water, the breeze, the mountain are all within your reach

Just open your arms and enjoy every mountain and beach!

Written with Ashish Bhardwaj 

(whisperingtrail.blogspot.com)

एहसास

तेरे एहसास से तनहा तो नहीं होती मैं कभी

पर फिर भी दिल सोचता है कि तू साथ होता तो कैसा होता।। 

Endless bleed

With silence acquiescence she rose to her feet,

She felt light headed, or was it heat?

She had no choice to say yes or no,

She is just like a boat, which has to row!

She is a servant, who has to follow,

Whatever she pretends to be, her heart is hollow,

She is broken inside, living her life in discreet.

Is there an end to her endless bleed?

Shall she drown or someone will guide her to shore?

Take her in or show her the door?

She waits for someone to make her sit on his heart's throne

But in all those dreams, she finds herself alone...

~Written with Ashish Bharadwaj 

(https://aashishbhardwaj.wordpress.com/)