It never could

It doesn't matter
It won't have
Whether it was early or late
You would've let it happen

You would have tried, didn't you
Or we are equal cowards
We have changed
I'm become more emotional like you
And you have become rational too

It doesn't matter
It never would have
Coz something that didn't happen
It never could have!

संहार

जीने क सहारा
व्यक्तित्व का आधार
जिंदगी क लक्ष्य
स्वयं पर प्रहार

अपने आदर्श
अपनी आकांक्षाएं
अपनी धरोहर
अपना मान

जीवन के दो पहलू
विचारधाराओं का प्रहार
इच्छाओं की बलि
उमीदों का संहार

Maa

What do you do to me
What do you do to my heart
You are so beautiful
All my worries you discard

You stand there
On his head
There is anger
But you're still calm

I cry looking at you
At the surrender
You bestowed upon me
And the love you fill my heart with

Stay here
Please don't go ever
Either put your hand on my head
Or your feet upon me
Bless me with your touch
And Let me never forget your eyes looking thru me

Fly like a bird

No I will not
I will change
I need to find something
That takes over the pain

I am not weak
I'm strong
I'll do what's needed
Even if I'm wrong

I'll keep up with my faith
Even if I've to try till my death
I have all the power in the world
I will be free and fly like a bird!

Mine of gold

Something in my head
I can't control
So I write
Again and again
Something which is meaningless
Away from any reasons of explanations
Away from reality
In the world of dreams
Where everything is possible
Where everything is beautiful
Where life has a goal
Where my heart is mine of gold!

For pain

The dirt
The duster
The strength
I muster

To call you
And be rejected
Again and again
Whatever was remaining
It deserted

To have faith
To live again
For death
For life
For happiness
For pain!

Re-live

The hollow
The shallow
Is it red now
Or is it yellow

Without sounds
Without words
Without feelings
Without hurts

My heart
It aches
It cries
Still makes
And relive again and again!

Water

The water flows
It knows no end
Where it meets
It starts for another journey

It never stops dreaming
It never stops moving
It also looks forward
It always is flowing

It's time I become the water
To move ahead in time
In words in rhymes
In sins in crimes
In my heart which always shines

Things I had with you

Thongs that I shouldn't
Things that I didn't
Things that I wouldn't
I had with you

Things which were complicated
Things I might have hated
Things only you could have created
I had with you

Things which have no meaning
Things which made us dreaming
Things whose memories are screaming
I had with you

Horses of my thoughts!

It's like when they go beyond the boundaries of my wall
When I cannot do anything big or small
Only you can control the horses of my thoughts

When I don't understand what's happening to me
When it goes beyond what I can manage
Only you can control the horses of my thoughts

When they need some food for themselves
When they don't know the direction they should go to
Only you can control the horses of my thoughts

When every word you write
And every emotion you explain
I go into a trance and my attention is caught
Coz only you can control the horses of my thoughts

Do you realize?

They say when you fall in love
When you hold each other
Your auras you exchange
When you are in each other's range

So now I know why I changed
Some part of you I stole
Now I know why I love myself more
'Coz I've become you to the core

I wonder how you may have changed
Does it affect you, now that we are estranged
I wonder what part of me did you like
That you too have changed, do you realize??

Bumping into myself

I've been to places
And realised the world to be small
Million people I've met
And I fail to connect

And then sometimes
I bump into myself
Loving her for what I'm
And hating at the same time

It's tiring to be yourself
And then meeting oneself again
I'm pretty much done handing myself
Can't take more than that

Black and white!

I can't make you love me
I never could
Even if I thought I had the power
I should have known the truth

Times change and people too
I came to you to be with you
Our love grew with togetherness and distance
We both shone with love and fragrance

No one can know our love but us
We had what we had and it was just
and then something happened to you
I know, with it everything I had to do

Now i feel the season of winter
and it's always night
There is no fragrance around me
Everything is black what used to be white!

Ruth

It's like my life revolves around you
I can't seem to forget you
I have my moments
But it's never without your memories

Sometimes memories make you happy
and sometimes they make you sad
Sometimes I think I have learnt my lesson
and sometimes I want to go back to what I had

You make peace with your condition
You make peace with your situation
but then again I want you badly
To be ready to do anything to be with you

I want to know for sure
I want to know if you can't love me anymore
I want you to make my heart know the truth
So that it can learn and come out of this ruth!

We!

We do what you want us to
We sleep, we wake up and we smile
We make the journey for you
Even if it goes for miles

We sit here smiling at things
But in our heart we're fighting
We lie to please you
And we show that we're smiling

You treat us like a symbol of sexuality
When you please
And then we become an unsocial item
According to your need

We are woman
We show we need you and we respect
We pretend just to keep you happy
But we aren't weak
Not what you suppose us to be
We are far stronger and it goes deep
We are what you can never possibly be!

Crossroads

At the crossroads we are

I can see the sun setting

The night is about to come

But the mind isn't resting

You came and loved me

Made me yours

Made me a part of you

I knew I can depend on you

But the same loneliness I feel again

Now that you have left

I again am at the crossroads

Waiting for the sun to set

Waiting for the night to come!

No Cure!

I don't know where I am going

The world has just ended

I walk and I fall

Life and death are just blended

I don't need you here

I am falling deep

and no one can save me now

and the fall is pretty steep

Why are you saving me

I'm falling endlessly

and you can't fall with me anymore

I beg you go back to what you were

'Coz to what I have become there is no cure!

Music

When the music is played
And the chords are played
The strings are touched
And the heart cries

When the music takes over
And the strings become part of heart
It's like emotions are played
And we use those strings of heart

When your eyes are wet
When the sensations cannot be ignored
You know it's something divine
You know you are one with universe!

Let me love you!

I can't wait for you to fall in love with me
If it was a yesterday it can be a tomorrow
We can be what we used to be
We can be what we always wanted to be

I know you want it too
I guess you are just afraid
I know you are scared
You don't want to go through that again

I know it was painful
I know it was tough on us
But I promise you I'll stand by you
I promise I'll be with you

Stop blocking our memories
I'm here to take the miseries
Let go and let the love touch us again
Let me love you and take all the pain!

सूरज

उस सूरज को देखा आज गौर से
तड़प रहा है किसी के लिए
जल रहा है किसी अग्नि में

ऐसी आग जिसे कोई बुझा नही सकता
क्या ये क्रोध है किसी के जाने का
याउदासी है किसी की अनुपस्थिति की

क्यू भस्म में इसमे सारा जहाँ
फिर भी दे रहा है रोशनी उस जलन से
जल रहा है स्वयं और जीवन भी दे रहा है

Plea

They say don't live in the past

and I ask why?

What's wrong with reliving your beautiful memories?

What's wrong in thinking about something which cannot be in reality?

We all have dreams, we have have goals

It can be in parts, it can be whole

I know my dream and goal is you

Ultimately I have to reach out to you

I know you know this too

For our love as pure as a dew

You are part of my identity
You are my everything

Do not take it away from me
This is my only plea!

Open Invitation

I call you from my heart

To tell you everything from the start

I may not be the best that you get

But you are the best I have ever met

You have given me everything I didn't need

Those things to which I never paid heed

But you came and showed me the world

It's like my soul's needs you heard

Now I am waiting for you to come back

You are the only thing that I now lack

I convey my message through this writing

This is an open invitation, that I now sing!

My land, My Allah

Why is all this happening
Why can't I live in peace
I just love my land
I just love my Allah

I'm part of which country
Oh, that doesn't matter to me
I just love my land
I just love my Allah

Why can't you leave us on our own
How long can we fight for our freedom
I just love my land
I just love my Allah

How long do I need to be prove my secularism
How long should I prove it's not religion but politics
Let me please live in peace
I just love my land
I just love my Allah

Dead

How long can I cry over a death
How long will I pretend it doesn't affect me
This death is forever
Death of our relationship

I know you are there
Someone who looks just like you
He even sounds like you
But his heart is not yours

No he is somebody else
Somebody I don't like
Coz he reminds me of you
You are probably somewhere inside him
Or tell me if you are just dead

क्या सम्भव है?

अतीत के अंधकार से निकलना
भविष्य का रूप बनाना
उस रक्त भरी ज़मीन पे नये घर बनाना
उन दर्द भरी आहों से मुँह मोड़ना
क्या सम्भव है?

उन रोती हुई आँखों को अनदेखा करना
उस भविष्य की कल्पना करना
उन टूटे हुए दिलों में
उमीदों की किरण देखना
क्या सम्भव है?

क्या गलत है?
अगर भविष्य की आशा नही है
क्या गलत है?
अगर दिल के टूटे सपने ही अच्छे लगते हैं
क्यूंकि उन्हे तोड़ना मुश्किल तो है पर
क्या सम्भव है?

काँच

जिनके अपने घर काँच के होते हैं
वो जानते हैं की दुनिया कितनी नाज़ुक है
भागते हैं वो ईंटों के घरों की तरफ़
की शायद वहाँ स्थाईत्व मिल जाये

पर वो नही जानते
की घर नही उनके दिल बन चुके हैं काँच के
इतने कमज़ोर की एक कंकण भी हिला दे
तोड़ दे उन दीवारो को जिन्हे वो मज़बूत समझते हैं

सोचते हैं वो
कि क्या जी पायेंगे इस काँच के साथ
दीवारो और दिलों मे
बसा पायेंगे अपनी उस दुनियाँ को
जो शायद सिर्फ सपनों क हिस्सा है

Brightness

And when the stars were too bright
She closed her eyes
For every light has been too bright for her
For every dream seemed impossible

Freedom has been tough
And she was used to captivity
Life has anyway been rough
Was something wrong with craving to be free

The past has been insidious
And she expected the world has much to offer
For now she knows, struggle hasn't ended
She still has the brightness of sun to face
She has to walk, fall and still race!

Umbrella

Standing under the night sky
I think of you
I think of our love
Gazing at those beautiful stars

As if this sky is an umbrella
Black in colors with silver dots
And you and me sharing it
In same or different times

I might be at the other end of this umbrella
But I know we share it
For when I would need it
I'd just turn around and call for you
And I know, you will smile
Smile at me from the other end
Waving your hand, still holding it tight

Stable

After twenty years of togetherness
I stand in front of you
And you look at me like stranger
As if I asked something wrong

I know it's too old
Good or bad, we are used to each other
But is respect somewhere sold
Which you cannot provide

I know it's a habit
For you to treat me like that
Don't know if I'm used to this
So that I've forgotten myself

It's hard for me and world is unknown
I have known your ways and they seem comfortable
But I won't be here until what I deserve is shown
And what we call relationship becomes stable!

Bring me spring

Its even more irritating

The impatience that you have

Dominance you want to have

I cannot bear it anymore

Just as if you have no respect for me

No respect for my opinions

Keep pushing it and it will not be better

Will break soon and will be done

You want things to be your way

Even when you are mistaken

You don't have any shame in you eyes

Never worry about none

Makes me think even more

Where the road of life is going

Will I soon see a shore

Will it again bring me a spring!

Seasons

I love the season of summers
When sun brightens your day
When light falls on your face
When everything is active, has life

I love the season of rain
When wind has the smell of earth
When everything is so fresh
And life comes alive

I love season of autumn
When trees shed their leaves
When you can see the shades of brown and orange
When wind covers the earth with beautiful colors

I love the season of winters
When everything is so cosy
When happiness is layers of cloth and warmth of tea
When sun brings out the energy

I love season of spring
When thousand shades of green are all around
When wind brings melody
And everything js so bright

I love the seasons of earth
The seasons of life and death
The seasons of formation and decomposition
The seasons of cozy and bright

Sound of rain

Waking up to the sound of rain
Wrapped in the sheet
Hearing that sound
That smell of rain that fills the room

Even the sun isn't out
For rain doesn't need him to do what she wants
She danced all night on the music of her own
And even when the music stops she remains
As a part of earth through that smell
As a part of shiny leaf in my veranda
As a part of mist inside my window pane
As a part of freshness it brings

I wish

How long can I pay the price
For something I haven't done
To take shelter under those clouds
Only to find they will rain one day

Standing here without you feels so naked
As if you love was the only cover for me
When even the small things have lost meaning
When even the sleep is not sleeping

Where are the times when you belonged here
When all your worries needed my shoulder to go away
When your life was woven around me
When I meant something in it

Coz when I thought every price paid was worth
When you showered that unconditional love
For you will always be a part of me
I wish you come to me, call me paa again!

With me!

My life is defined by you
Coz this is somebody you have created
Everything that doesn't make sense about me
Makes so much sense when you are with me

The part of me that has permanently change

Cannot be redone again

and since then, I have been trying to be better

Better to be with you

Alas! you are too good to be mine

Too good to be with someone like me

but with your love, my heart will always shine

Whether I am alone or you are with me!

My life

I have wanted you always
Always hoped and prayed for you
All this time it was my tapasya
To be worthy of you

You have the power
You have to decide
You can choose to take me with you
You can choose to leave

May be the tapasya was my redemption
It had nothing to do with you
If my life has come to this, so be it
Coz that's why you did, what you chose to

Never considered.......

Never considered what would happen to me
Never considered if I didn't see
Never considered your horizons have broadened
Never considered that my life's already done

Never considered if my life would be slow
Never considered that you can say no
Never considered if my life would stop
Never considered if it would all be a flop

Never considered life would come to this
Never considered it would loose its bliss
Never considered I've already lost
Never considered I paid this huge cost!

Closed doors

I don't know about us
I don't know whats gonna happen
I'm skeptical about you
But I'm unsure about myself

Our love has known no boundaries
And we have loved like soulmates
Like we knew each other since always
It was something that universe creates

Now I'm at the crossroads
And every roads seems to go to you
I hope you haven't closed your door
Coz right now, I don't expect anything anymore!

Hoping for the best

It's like life tests you again and again
I put my heart out in front of you
Hoping you wouldn't walk on it
You are still to take a step

I once did this, knowing the result
And it was what my heart wanted
But now that things have changed
They are not what they used to be
I can't expect anything

You are my hope
You are my love
Since the day I started loving you
I knew its gonna be for the rest of my life

It gives me goosebumps to think about it
That you still have that power
That I, myself have that power
To put my heart in front of you
Hoping for the best, expecting the worst

Just naught

And I have nothing else

but to open my heart

and bring my life

and word every part of it

Short it may be,

As they say

but it was beautiful

like a bright shiny day

Why should I be worried

of who knows what

Its just us who can relate to it

For everyone else its just naught!

Bring me back to reality

When I look far

Far beyond what my eyes can see

Where my heart can feel

and all my senses direct me to you

Your energy is always around me

Your face I can see with closed eyes

Your voice guiding me around

Your words showing me the path

Meanwhile I get lost in the world

I argue with myself for rationality

I laugh, cry, have fun

but I wait for a signal from you

to bring me back to reality!

Possibility

Possibility of us being together
Possibility to relive the memories which are blur
Possibility of holding hand
and again writing our names in the sand

Possibility of you being by my side
Tell me everything and be my guide
Possibility of me living with love and pride
and the possibilities getting so wide

Possibility of you saying my name again
Possibility of two of us standing in the rain
Possibility of visiting new places
Possibility of filling previously created spaces

Possibility of me feeling again at home
Possibility of us discussing those tomes
Possibilities are such happy feelings
Makes me wanna fling, dance and sing