Defense!

I still love you
And that hasn't changed
But we can't be together

That's how our lives are arranged

I have responsibilities
I have plans
What we had was good, I agree

Even for a short time span

Changing my plans for you
Won't make any sense

I appreciate your love
That's all I can say, in my defense!

Wish!

I wish he felt the same

The same happiness

The same joy

The same bounds

What I felt, O boy!

The love that changed me for better

Changed him too

The relationship that we shared

Like the petal and the dew

The faith that I have

I wish he felt the same

The things that I gained

I wish he too could acclaim!

No sense to it

The day we met
The day we fell in love
The day in love, our hearts were lit
Overwhelmed, I cried and cried until I found no sense to it

The times we had each other
The times I knew I've found the one
The visible love that our souls would emit
Overwhelmed, I cried and cried until I found no sense to it

The day you left
I didn't know what to do
I drank until its the bottom that I hit
I cried and cried until I found no sense to it

I didn't know what happened to us
I couldn't get through those cold eyes
Deep down, I knew I was falling in a pit
I cried and cried until I found no sense to it

Now I know nothing will change
Now I know you aren't gonna come back
What can I do, but to sit and wait and sit
I won't cry anymore, there's no sense to it!

Melody

Those few days
And the number of times
The love that happened
In the sounds of the chimes

The sunlight, the moonlight
And the dusk
I want to capture your beauty
I know I must

The walks on the banks
The pebbles the fishes
The short boat rides
And coins granting wishes

The trees, the camera
and those pictures
Me standing against the pole
You too seemed merged

My love you are
A distant memory
Everytime I write
It creates a melody!

Pebbly strand

The power that you have
To touch my soul
To take these fragments of me
And make a whole

The power that you have
To keep me indulged
And my thirst was satiated
In that one gulp

The power that you have
To make me what I can be
The changes that happened
Made an improvised me

The power that you have
That no-one can understand
The strength and the control
As if the wind gliding on a pebbly strand!

Infinity

In this universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once and never again, no matter how many lives you live. ~ Robert James Waller/ Robert Kincaid

I know I found everything
Being there with you
But you felt the same
That doesn't have to be true

With the love that you gave me
I can survive more than one life
I can live with it forever
Balancing my emotions on a knife

I don't have to own you
To love you like this
You'll be part of me
Beyond infinity!

Haze!

Yes our love wasn't meant to be

If something like that

Cannot work out

Can be forgotten

Then, I say it wasn't meant to be

Our love wasn't wasted

But I can't spend my life feeling cheated

Don't want to have a same wish list

Can't spend whole life feeling missed

I may be lost right now

Not knowing what might happen tomorrow

But I know this is just a phase

Sun would shine soon, removing haze!

Nostalgia

The flowers drawn on a box

The flowers inside a book

Standing in the rain for hours

Reaching out to hang your clothes on a hook

Waiting for the bus for hours

and swinging along the way

The laughter in the crowd

Not worrying whether it's night or day

The cold water from the hand-pump

and searching for the marble

Walking on the streets in summer

With worn out jeans and chappal

The old ways and the simple life

The worries of world ranged from four to five

The nostalgia it brings to my heart

It's somewhere inside a rampart

Make his own way!

He swung open the door
And there was nothing
The bodies of nothingness
Were lying on the floor

He rushed inside
Careful of the bodies
He had to protect what's not there
What his bare eye can't see

He never craved for more
Stood at the door
To protect the vaccum
Didn't care what the world assumed

He might float amongst them one day
To be protected by someone like him
Or he'll just fly far far away
Beyond the chaos, make his own way!

Ego?

They say it's ego
But it's hard to believe
Ego with me?
Man! we have been "we"

Don't you remember?
How can you forget our love?
This ego is not gonna take us anywhere
Please do rise above

I can never have someone like you
and I hope you also felt the same
Then why this gap between us?
This ego is an arrow aimless

For just once, think about our love
For just once, think about us
Can we not be us again?
B'coz of it, our love is just gonna drain

How can I show my heart?
How can I show how real it is?
How are we surviving away from each other?
Every second of my life, you are missed!

Not a Jaunt

I still love you
That love ain't going anywhere
We are part of this world
You and me both are here

But I don't want you now
Not for what you are
Not for what you feel about me
It's not what it used to be
It has gotten sour

I wanted to be one with him
The one I had
The one I loved
The one who was glad
To have me

Who loved me more
Who was a dedicated partner
He was my dream come true
and to my prayers, he was the answer

But that love is gone
and now you are someone else
You have his looks and his voice
For me this is not a choice

And no, this is not what I want
I would have liked to make a journey to your heart
Alas, now it's not a jaunt!

Harsh!

Life can be real harsh

Real bad to you

It takes away everything from you

Every single thing you ever wished for

and then challenges you to perform

To be strong

To survive

To live through

To prove yourself

And then there are us!!

Who just can't be happy with our lives

With the blessings of God

Of our family

Our friends

Of comfortable life!

So, I say..

Thank you and Sorry!

Just wondering!

I just finished reading this book called Black Mamba Boy and it talks about the hardships of a young boy living in Africa in late 1940s during the time when British and Italians had their colonies there. It talks about the insults, hardships and wars the boy sees and lives through. There is a point where he becomes part of Italian army as a help. He was insulted, beaten, misbehaved with. He worked for them because he needed shelter and money. Later in his life when he works on British Navy and he was abused verbally where he doesn't feel bad at all. Because he has had such bad experiences in his life, just a verbal abuse seemed normal to him. The British seemed to happy with him, as he never retaliated.

I wonder if that is how real life is. We judge the goods and bads based on experiences we have had in our lives. We are conditioned in such a way that the better off we are, the more expectations we have from others and life. We sometimes become frustrated with others' behaviors or the way life is treating us, we want more and better things. Is it that its bad to have better things/life to start with? Have we been better if we learnt everything along the way?

Alot of people may not agree with me. That even after being better off, we can learn to be adjusting towards life and behaviors of others. Also, we all deserve to treated well and right and it shouldn't change from person to person based on the assets he has to start with. and I agree but I feel how would it feel to gain things/love/people/money in life when you go through hardships. How much value do you assign to these things? Will it be different for me and someone else? 

Live life!!

We are not at some war
I tell you what we live for
The small happiness in life
The blue ocean and the sunrise

The jobs aren't our lives
They may give us means of living
They can't be our everything
There are things to give you wings

Don't be afraid to pamper yourself
Happiness is your true wealth
You don't have to keep on running
There are different definitions of winning

Go out and live life
Don't be afraid, don't hide
This time isn't coming again
Don't let this one life go in vain!

Reading

I see a lot of quotes and pictures on reading saying that reading can help you stay away from reality or real life. I wonder if that's what reading do. Whatever you read be it fiction or non fiction, it comes from our experiences and feelings. I don't read books to run away from reality. Yes, I agree stories can be interesting, can take you to another world and make you forget for the time being about your own world. But even the happiest or fiction stories have lessons of life. The struggle, the love, the pain, the union, the victory, the togetherness, aren't these all part of our lives? When I read, I can experience someone else's pain or happiness, love or loneliness, union or abandonment, struggle or victory, shrewdness or inocence, gains or losses. Either I feel happy with them or sad with them. It can at times give me a parallel universe to live in. It opens up my mind to new possibilities and worlds. It keeps me to the ground teaching me that things are happening all around good or bad - you are not the only one and it helps in appreciating the goods of my life. It gives me new visions to my own life. I wouldn't say I read to run away from reality but to make my reality more real away from illusions.

I could be...

I could be the ocean

With possibilities so wide

I could be the air

Reason for million of lives

I could be the sky

With a never ending expanse

I could be the food 

Improving world's circumstances

I could be the hope

Giving dreams of better future

I could be the dreams

Giving hope to everyone

I could be the love

The thread connecting everyone

I could be the faith

Connecting things which could be abandoned

Millions of ways

Millions of reasons

I can change the world for better

Every season!

The world of dreams!

When you're madly in love
Your rationality stops working
And you forget what is possible
What opportunities might be lurking

You make her the Goddess of your dreams
And all her faults seem lovable to you
You probably are too keen
To differentiate between what's lie and what's true

You forget the reality
In what you feel to be perfect
And you do come face to face with it
You can't judge what's myth and what's a fact

You measure the beauty of the world
With her love in your heart
And how can anything be good enough
When it's too high from where you start

Life becomes tough
When measuring scales are biased
And your world doesn't remain real
From you, everything is concealed!

No need of we!

Be an ocean of love
Not the bond
Let the winds of love be moving between us
Let the bond of togetherness bind us

Let the bond be of feelings
Not to impose
Be the happiness come out of it
Just like a prose

Let the winds touch you and me
And that's our contact
May the stars shine equal upon us
And that's our sight

Let the world be what it is
And do not change
May we be happy in our solitude
Let the love be estranged

Let the love be what it is
And not what it's ought to be
Let us be us in our world
There is no need of we!

Happiness

Happiness is people you love

The people whom you always feel part of

The words that they say

Just make each other's day

Happiness is your world

In your lovers arms you are curled

The warmth that you feel

Sitting across eachother, looks that you steal

Happiness is appreciating what you have

Blessing of being able to concentrate

On things which make you yourself

Being able to realise your true wealth

Happiness is life

Knowing there are million reasons to smile

You wake up every day to a new beginning

That you can breathe and see the sun beaming!

Peace

I know you're busy
In your life
And the world that you've created
For yourself
To keep yourself running
With the speed of life

But I ask for sometime for myself
You know you can do something to help
I know you can do it for me
You don't have to, its not your responsibility

We all are running to do something with life
Searching for things we hope to find
The peace my friend is inside of you
This work this money - nothing they can do!

Vacant!

I hope you understand
I had someone in my heart
Its gonna take some time
For me to go that far
With you

I'm not comparing
You and him
I know you're gonna hold my hand
When the light is dim

I hope you understand
I appreciate your love
But it's gonna take me sometime
For me to rise above
All this

I promise I'll be truthful to you
But forgetting him instantly
Not something I can do
I would like to tell you
You need to be real patient
I cannot assure right now
If that spot is ever gonna be vacant!

Happy to..

Happy to see you happy
Happy to see you insane
Happy to see you in your world
Happy to see you at comfort again

Happy to see you cracking those jokes
Happy to see you talking aloud
Happy to see you have some friends
Happy to see you have someone who understands

Happy to see things are back to normal
Happy to see why they are
Happy to see why you took that stance
And why I just don't stand a chance!

I wish...

I wish things were different
I wish I could smell your scent
I wish you were here next to me
I wish we could be we

I wish your blue be spilled on mine
I wish our hearts be still intertwined
I wish those fingers holding the glass
Be wrapped around my waist for our dance

I wish the jokes you shared be only for my ears
I wish you again become the shoulder for my tears
I wish I come out of this mess
I wish we could take each other's loneliness!

Freedom!

What is freedom

Is it being able to do what you want

Or in sharing the happiness of freedom with others

is it being alone and independent

or helping someone in being independent

Is it moving away

Away from the shackles

or being chained in them

and still being away from it

Is it when you are no longer fighting?

Or it it when you no longer need to?

When you are above this

The world, the needs and the wants?

Whatever be the definition

I am not free

Chained by the shackles of my own thoughts

Chained inside of them

Blaming them for making me their servant

When the truth is I am not even trying to be free!

Can you answer?

Are we meant to be

with the one who makes us happy

or with the one who takes us higher?

To a level we would want to reach

but the journey, they say is tough

Too tough.. to manage

To survive

and I have survived it

and still love you

So do I win?

Do I get to win over you?

Or the lessons are learnt for something else?

Something bigger?

Or better?

Or tougher?

Do you know?

Can you answer?

Soul-Mate

You came in my world

Gave me love

Made me happy

and I called it love

Then you came in like a storm

Revolutionized my life

Made me change

Made me come out of my comfort zone

And I felt uncomfortable

I felt out of my world

I wondered if you are my love

Then, I realized you are my soul-mate!

Keep dreaming?

Wanting something I don't have

and craving for what I can't have

Is this how life's meant to be?

Our own blessings we can't see

We all want something we don't get

The sun of your life is one day going to set

It's important to let it go on time

Being selfish is not a crime

The life always changes for good or bad

Living in dreams is only gonna make you sad

The reality is what it is

Keep dreaming, reality is what you're gonna miss!

Take my heart away!

Why are you waiting?

Nothing else is changing

We are only getting older

Things between us won’t be any sweeter

If you are waiting for the right time

Waiting for Him to knit threads of rhyme

Let me tell you this is right

Together we can take that flight

The words are getting sparse

And I have nothing new to say

It’s been more than a year you kept me at bay

It’s time you come back and take my heart away!

Struggle

Feeling lost

In the new world

Of characters

Personalities

Expectations

Promises

Pressures

Where my own hopes

Life
Feelings
Dreams

Expectations

Struggle to live on

The cycle!

False promises

I make to myself

That I shall forget you

And never try to woo!

Then again

Something happens

And I fail

None of emotions, I shun

Then again I take control

And end up here

Scribing and writing

Something I can’t myself hear!

Wise one?

You say I'm the wise one
Are you referring to what I've done?
I laugh at my own self when you say that to me
Coz I can also see what everyone else can see

You say I'm the wise one
I don't know if you're trying to make fun
My thoughts, my actions and my decisions
Me the wise one? It raises suspicions

You say I'm the wise one
Maybe coz you think I have won
I may have in some worldly sense
But who'd know, we both are good at pretense!

Ponder

What you said to me
Should I believe it to be true
Does it mean it can be
That we can start anew

Those words remind me of old days
I couldn't control the overwhelming emotions
My mind started showing me everything I wanted
And everything that remains unspoken

I ask myself, should I ask again?
Is there something for me to gain?
But then I explain to myself I know the answer
There's nothing to think about, nothing to ponder!

You are the best!

You are the best secret I have ever kept
You are my wish to fly away
You are the one for whom I adapt
Coz you just make my heart sway

Your name is the best word I've ever spoken
The smile on your face is my favorite token

Your are the best wish fulfilled

Looking at you I feel thrilled

You are the best mistake I ever made

You are the best excuse for which this world I evade

People say it's a fall, don't be delusional

I say, with you, the fall remains beautiful

Pain

How do you define pain

Is it something that you feel at one point

Or it remains with you for long

Never ending but pinching at time

It hurts you sometime

and then it becomes part of you

You forget how is life without it

You wouldn't know how to quit

It cuts you deep inside

Parts of you it divides

You bleed continuously from everywhere

Still, for most dangerous of tasks you volunteer

Pain changes you to someone else

You become somebody by going into shell

It can make the life change for better

but you still lay bound in fetters!