Monday 22 February 2016

The incomplete circle of progeny

For some personal fulfillment, what we call "being complete" we bring another human being into the world.I don't know when and who started calling this as a process of being "complete" or bringing more into the already populated world. I cannot be the one to say that there shouldn't be any progeny in the world but it surprises me that the ultimate goal of every individual in the so called "civilised" society (Can't speak about what we "uncivilised") is to have a job to earn money which in turns allows you to get married AND have children; more children adding to the world, to the population, depending on the world's limited resources.Every person who gets married today has a societal pressure of having a child within 2-3 years. It is a norm which everyone follows without questioning.
There are lacs of unwanted pregnancies or what we call "accidents". We have no control over those who take such decisions which in turn lead to such "accidents". Such incidents cannot be controlled or changed just by wishing. But it's when well-educated people make "wise" decisions to have 2-3 children, plan their lives and one's own financial resources accordingly. We work hard to give them a better life because we have to (it's our children, we have to do it). Then we have expectations on how they should behave, grow in life, do what "ought" to be done.Mostly it gives dissatisfaction on the cost-benefit analysis of what we did for them and what they did for us.
There is another aspect of the kind of world we are bringing them to. In the world full of competition, rat race, struggling just to survive etc. In the world full of pollution, population blast, terrorism, hatred etc. In the world full of diseases, health problems which eventually leads to death. Most parents do not survive to see their children die. Most children suffer to see their parents struggle with diseases.
What I believe is that it is not a human's responsibility to bring any more humans into the world. We do it as if it is one of the tasks to be finished in this life; to bear a child. Maybe it's time we realise that bringing more people in the world is not a "important work" that we are assume it to be or something to be proud of.
I think most of us who choose to do it is either because our families and society pressurize us or we actually get convinced with what they say "Budhape ka sahara" (don't know how much of sahara children are) or somewhere in our minds we believe that unless we do it we won't be complete, that it would provide happiness that nothing else can give.
For all the reasons mentioned above, it is in our own interest that we bring someone to the world. It is not to say that children shouldn't respect parents or parents aren't doing anything for children. It is to raise the point that bringing a child into this world was a decision made for self satisfaction or societal satisfaction.
My idea behind writing this blog was not just to start a discussion on the "whys" of increasing population in the "educated" society but the"need" of it and understanding if we realize the kind of future we expect for them based on the current world.
Humans are generally considered rational and the times when their rationality doesn't work is when they are overwhelmed with strong emotion. The process of progeny tends to defy all these logics. Noone seems to ask the question "why" I am doing what I am doing. All the arguments given in the favor of progency are derived from someone or something which may not be relevant anymore. When it comes to children all the arguments of human behavior seem not to work.
If it were only because people were doing it under pressure I would have understood because something which is always done based on someone else's wish doesn't have a long life but people do it by choice and they want it. I want to ask them do you know why? I want to ask them did you ask yourself why? I am not sure they would be able to give an answer. Answers like because this is what all married people do, because we should have someone to call our own seem too vague to me. While we ask most simple (read, stupid) questions in the world, why is it that this question seems unanswered? While we call ourselves rational or logical, why do we fail to understand the reasons of doing it and it's consequences on the world and our own selves?
There are so many gaps in understanding the real reasons of the process. The circle of bearing a child, the process of bringing them up, the expectation from them and the hopes of their betterment seems to defy the rationale of good and bad, selfish and selfless, hopes of good future and the availability of resources.
P.S. I have deliberately left the point wherein people bear children to maintain their names or name of clan. I think slowly this trend is becoming less important. It is more of a general trend that it is done and so we do it too.

4 comments:

  1. Very true and these are the questions even I have in my mind

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  2. what i understand is people should not have progeny.but beyond all of the point u mentioned it's our biological responsibilty to incearse our numbers. pass on our genes. that's what called evolution.

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    1. I didn't mean to say that we shouldn't but it should be a thoughtful decision. Most of us plan to have children because that is the "way of life".
      The process of evolution doesn't have to satisfied with every potent individual creating life. There are lacs of unwanted pregnancies. Also there are unplanned pregnancies as well. All these factors even if reduced shall be helpful in the process of sustaining human life and process of evolution.

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  3. Insomnia brought me to your blog again. Even I believe only few people bring a new life in this world thoughtfully. Most are, as you said, accidental offspring or in some cases they are byproduct to prove their parents' manhood/womanhood. But there is another aspect of human instinct that prompts them to have their own children, which I believe almost all human have. I had a similar discussion with my father several times. I was asking him why people are wasting natural resources and altering it? What kind of world will we be leaving for our next generation? Ain't we actually doing injustice to bring them in this world?

    As far as increasing the population is concerned then statistics suggests 10 couples should bring 21 children to keep the population stable.

    I truly believe asking such questions what you have raised is important. I have many weird questions and wrote one thought few years back.

    --
    Rohit
    http://rohitsaxenaspeaks.blogspot.in/2010/04/in-search-of-nirvana.html

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