The funny thing about being a woman

I am a woman and there are so many funny things about being one. Whether we are treated right at home or not we empathise with the women who are not treated rightly. We all are angry from inside. I have not met a woman yet who is not angry about the condition of women around the world. Maybe there are women who don't care. I am sure there are. But, we want all things that are possible/ which are available to men in this world. The funny thing is that sometimes we want things not because we need them but because we know that they are forbidden to us just because of our gender. Another funny thing, that you may not know is we all believe that we deserve things, to be treated fairly but we feel obliged and happy when we are actually treated right. Heard a woman say "My husband and in laws LET ME wear western clothes they are so nice" "He lets me work, he is nice" "he helps me in kitchen (as if it was only her responsibility)? These things are embibed so badly inside of us that we forget that we feel grateful even when we are given basic rights, not something extraordinary. 

The last funny thing that I am going to mention about being a woman is we want to be the "man" in the society while we still want to enjoy the benefits of being a woman!

P.S. This is strictly for women like me, who have access to and have tasted/enjoyed freedom.

The vicious circle of being oppressed and a woman!

The situation of women in India, especially uneducated and non-working ones is not unknown to most of us. It is also known that various policies have been made/ implemented for the betterment of women. Quotas in Government jobs, panchayats, subsidy for girl child education, subsidy to parents having girl child are some of them. Not all methods have worked directly for women empowerment but they have given them freedom in some ways and have saved them for life in others.
We implement policies thinking they are going to change the society. Hundreds of articles/ papers are written on the possible success of that policy, once implemented. Although after implementation we face newer/ fresh challenges. Take for example, the quota of women in panchayat. We expected it to be a big hit, the only problem envisaged before was, women might be less forthcoming. The women were indeed less forthcoming. It took them sometime to come around. But why did they come around? Was it because they wanted to be the member of panchayat/ become sarpanch or their husbands wanted the power they never had/ can have? Then these policies which should have sufficient need more support to cut the cord of that vicious circle. The initiatives like The Hunger project was needed to help this policies actually get implemented in the right way.
Take another example, the Beti Padhao Beti Bachao scheme launched by Haryana government. Haryana is one of the states, which has highly skewed sex ratio. The scheme allows the families of girl child to redeem Rs. 25,000 bond when the girl turns 18, for education. Bad news, 53% of the people are using it for their marriages. The initiative on its own intended to give the girls' education (i.e. higher education). The money, on the other hand is given to the greedy grooms who would look at these girls as a source of decent sum of money or better dowry! Again the policy remains at the mercy of the not the beneficiary but everyone else!
Take another (indirect) example, the free contraceptive distribution. This initiative didn't directly helped in women empowerment. The intent is to check the population growth and maternal and child mortality due to uncontrolled pregnancies resulting in deaths.The indirect effect, (expected) was that, women will have a say in choosing how many children they want. They will not be at the mercy of fate. Everyone realized how strong the opposition is from their husbands in using condoms and the approach wasn't as successful. Then the idea of pills was floated and it was comparatively more successful as this was at the discretion of women. In a way it improved their condition only where they were not pushed and forced by the in-laws not to use such practices. Now world over, there are pressures on India to include other contraception methods apart from (permanent) sterilization, condoms, pills and IUDs. There are further pressures to include injectibles. It has been quite a success with a lot of women who want to choose a method which they can keep hidden from their families. But owing to its side effects government isn't sure about including them in the list. What Indian Government will do is secondary, the more pressing issue is that women need choices that they can hide from their own families to live a life of their choice, whatever be the side effects!
These are not all. There are issues related to sexual violence, female foeticide, rapes to name a few. All these issues and policies go back to the way women think and how freely they can operate in their environment. Most of the time, they are at the mercy of the people they live with, and call them their family. The acceptance and use of policies in the right way depend on the fact that if they are allowed to make use of policies made for them and if they have any say in choosing the options available to them. Then probably more policies, more initiatives are needed because one policy/ one initiative opens the Pandora box. It opens new set of problems and challenges. All this seems like a vicious circle of being oppressed and being a woman!

The daily soaps and women empowerment

Many years back a revolution came in the television industry when Ekta Kapoor started with daily soaps different from what were already shown on television. The serials like Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi and Kahani ghar ghar ki were accepted with open arms and everyone was happy to watch them. The big old Indian families, family problems, the household problems and gossip everything was enjoyed (even if it was exaggerated). But then started the never ending stories, going nowhere. and similar shows followed.
It is almost 15 years that the trend started but it seems its never ending. Such shows started with the idea to make soaps more women oriented, to show that women are capable of change inside as well as outside the houses. Yesterday I happened to watched few shows on television and they are not by the same producer/director. I realised the stories are almost same. I realised what was considered women empowerment 15 years ago is not the same anymore.
The shows in early 2000s showing women given their rightful position and being able to participate in household decisions were considered as good things. As shows were watched and followed women subconsciously decided to get similar treatments and men learnt the benefit of such behavior. but 15 years on, has our world not changed? Do writers have no other stories? Have we not grown? Has our industry not relaised the fact?
If we look at Indian cinema there is considerable difference in the kind of movies that are made. From early 2000s to now, there are multitude of themes on which movies are made different from popular regular ones. Some of them do well, some don't but producers and directors are ready to try in cinemas then why not television? Except 2-3 shows which might be on a move social views most of the soaps still deal with beauty, love, marriage, family politics, saas- bahu issues, issues of widows etc.
The most popular argument given is that this is what society demands. I am not expecting the society to change overnight but as audience we have a right to get more choices in shows that the presented before us. Unless such shows were telecasted no-one knew the market is available and now we need to revolutionize the industry again.
And stop attaching the idea of such serials with women empowerment. Such more than family politics, heavily dressed women and crying over petty issues is not going to empower women and no, we don't enjoy it. None of today's women do. Try and innovate.