Solo walk

My solo walk in the mountains
Is not lonely
The wind changed into zephyr
And sang beautiful songs
The trees danced on those songs
And welcomed me with the leaves
The river clapped and roared
Looking at me
I smiled at each of them
And started my day
With happiness

Orchard

For you my friend
I live my life
In those moments that I lived
The world became mine

For you my friend
I will be what I can
In the crushing pressures of the world
I shall be like a sand

For you my friend
I will always look forward
In the fertile soil of your love
I'll create an orchard!

Bleeding heart

With the poison of your love
I just want to die
With it, in my body
I will just lie

The poison is slow
And I will just wait
To let the poison work
Till its too late

I will suffer in each moment
And let my insides rip apart
I will choke and suffocate
And save my bleeding heart

Shunya!

In the dreams

I see the air

the roads

The mountains

and the water splashes 

I get while walking

in the streams in between

and I want t o sit there 

and enjoy

and praise the nature

the beauty and peace

in having the feeling of nothingness

and of being in shunya

Morning Raag

When you played the morning raag

My heart you took away

And with that alaap

Calling for thee

and those sur on Harmonium

which you played along

and then you played the flute

Making the dull air

pass through

and changing into musical notes

and the tabla that you played

Became my heart beat

The Vibhas and the Asaveri

I am one into you

and one with each and every note

present around me

Floating

Dancing!

Freebie

it's not you

It's just love

and I have freed

Those trapped doves

Its just seclusion

That we need

On those moments

We need to feed

I am not away

I will always be a part of us

In the dry sand of my heart

You can only grow cactus

The "us" is a part of me

And from those two bodies we need to be free

Love is something that should be earned

It's not a freebie!

आधार

एक कोपल फूटी
धरती में
गोद में
और बढ़ी
अपनी नन्ही पत्तियो के साथ
नन्हे फूल
ओस की बूंदे लिए
और फिर बना पौध
आगे बढ़ना है उसे
पेड़ बनना है
दूर जाना है
धरती से
उससे जिसके साथ बड़े हुए
खेला कूदा
पर वो बढ़ा है आसमान की ओर
उसे पाने की चाह में
रोज़ थोड़ा थोड़ा
लेकिन क्या उससे उसका प्यार
धरती के लिए कम है
उसका लगाव
धरती ने पूछा "आसमान की चाह है?..
आगे बढ़ने की इच्छा?"
पौध ने कहा "हा चाहत तो है
पर तुमसे दूर जाने की नही
तुम तो रहोगी हे ना
मेरा अस्तित्व मेरी जड़े
मेरा आधार"!

Failure

There was a time
I was over you
When I knew for the fact
Why it didn't worked thru

There was a time
I was thankful it didn't work
When I knew it's gonna be a waste
To us, lies no perk

There was a time
I was happy about not being us
Whatever happened, happened
It was all just

This time came.. I don't know when
In my dreams or for a mili second
I'd like to believe this is coming to me
That reasons of failure I begin to see

Fake

Do you feel angry?
Reading me out there
Who am I to say anything?
Why do I care?

What love do I claim?
When I did it all wrong
What right do I have?
To write these songs

Do you laugh?
At what I'm trying to become
All fake and hollow from inside
Something I can never overcome

What are these claims of love?
What are these claims of misery?
You're right in what you're doing
I can also see it clearly

Hood

You say you may find someone
You may fall in love again
Then why even once
What was the gain

Isn't love supposed to be forever
Isn't love only once
It may still be mixed emotions
It may be roses and guns

I wonder why it didn't work out
If it really was that good
Where everything looked fancy
Was reality under the hood!

Exile

Angry
Coz this is what it is
This is how things are
Do you wonder what I go thru
Or do you want to put suffering at par

Do you care
But why would you
I shouldn't even expect
Still stupid me, always reacts

Does it make you happy and you smile
That from some emotions I'm at exile
And these stories and promises are all fake
Days are dreaming, nights are awake!

Hurting

There's no reason
To understand or accept
I'm not that stupid
I don't suspect

The words the lies and the comforts
Are too clear without any doubts
There's communication in silence
It doesn't have to be loud

When words just come out
When words are just blurting
And those words without language
Can be even more hurting

कल

क्यूँ ना जिए हम खुल के
क्यूँ रोकें खुद को
क्यू बाँधे बंधन में
क्यूँ डरे कल से
ज़िंदगी से
या मौत से
खुशियों के जाने के डर से
या दर्द के आने से
या टाले कल पे
उन चीज़ो को
जो खुशिया दे सकती हैं
या आज़ादी दे सकती हैं
अपने आप से
जियो, खुश रहो,
करो जो करना चाहते हो
कल की ना सोचते हुए
दूसरो की ना सोचते हुए
स्वार्थी बनो कभी कभी
और जी लो
ज़िंदगी उतनी लंबी नही लगेगी
जितनी लगती है!

Reality

And I saw you through those eyes

And made a decision I thought is wise

I thought you agreed to it too

That it can be the start of something new

And I went through it

Again and again

Does it work well for me?

What are my gains?

Then words became puzzles

And difficult to decipher

To the questions that you asked

I had no answers

Is it something that remains in our heart?

Is what we felt falling apart?

Or it was never meant to be?

The reality between us we just couldn't see!

Pennies and dimes

She said she will run with me

She said to the mountains far above

We planned to build a house there

And fall again in love

She said we will open a restaurant

And with it a book store

We will welcome rich and poor

To everyone, we will open our door

She said we will trek everyday

And make our living out there

Without things which are part of city life

Just spend our days with each other

Then suddenly she forgot all the promises

And everything that was planned over time

Do people change to become someone else?

Over pennies and dimes?

Blame it on me

If they ask you

What went wrong

and what hurt you deeply

Blame it on me

If they say things were good

and you were happy

then what happened

Blame it on me

If they say

Who was the one

who left it callously

Blame it on me

But they ask if she cheated

If her love wasn't true

If she didn't love in entirety 

Don't blame it on me

Play called life!

A beautiful play called life
There are simple rules
To which you can only abide

You might find the game too tough
Sometimes too complicated
Sometimes fair enough

Sometimes you find words inappropriate
To address the problem to tackle the pain
As if your mind it obnubilates

And then the beauty shows you amazing dreams
You want to be part of it forever
To you, Earth is the best place to be it seems

Muddy?

Assuming you're mature
Based on your age
But you need to behave like one
Why not control your rage?

A person can have
Too strong an opinion
And you can't live in this world
Feeling oblivion

There's a space
Which needs to be created
That I agree
Is definitely needed

But all this while
What I'm gonna do
Understand, observe and try to study
Because lotuses can grow out of
Water too muddy!

Better than a memory

The image of you
Is still in my mind
The old pictures of us
Still have the power to bind

Your eyes
And those spectacles
They grip me tightly
Without any shackles

While I rummaged in our old stuff
I found you and me
Those images are still so vivid
Better than a memory!

Delve

I have loved you
And with you,
I shared best moments of my life
But does that mean my life has ended?
Now that you aren't mine?

I will learn
And I will be happy
There are things for which
I need to be ready

You know and you smile
At my love for you
But I won't ask you again
I know you can't be woo'ed

I would respect your decision
And respect my own self
There are other passions in life
In which I need to delve!

Awed

If I love somebody else
Does it mean my love for you wasn't real
The feelings remain confused
I know this mix is surreal

My love for you is eternal
And the world knows it well
Even he has to know you're part of me
Because that's where my dreams dwell

There are some people
Who can't be with you all your life
You can just make them your God

And spend your life feeling awed!

Sanctity

The feelings remain the same
The only thing that changes is name
What is this play of life?
What is this game?

The waits, the anticipation
And the nervousness
If the idol has changed
Does it mean I'd pray less?

The fear of wrong's do not change
I maybe afriad of the reality
But love is always real
This does not change it's sanctity

तू

तेरे होने से
जैसे रूह
शद्मान हो गयी
तेरा दीदार ही मेरी इबादत
मेरी अज़ान हो गयी

तू जो गया तो
अपने साथ
इन ख्याबो को ले गया
मेरी क़िस्मत
मेरी ज़िंदगी
तेरे नाम हो गयी

ना हैरान हो
मेरी खबर-ए-फौत देख कर
आएँगे तुझसे मिलने
तेरी महफ़िल में
रूह-ए-मोहब्बत
मेरी शान हो गयी

Should I say!

Should I say I've fallen for you
And this is real and true
Should I say you're my only one
That my heart you've already won

Have I said what I shouldn't have said
Where's this path, my emotions have led
This road to love is full of stones

But we still want it, for some reason unknown

Should I say I love you truly madly deeply

And when you look at me and our eyes meet briefly

I know this is going to be forever

This world already looks better than heaven!

दीदार

वो झरोखा
और झरोखे से तेरे दीदार
वो दरख़्त
जिसके साए में तुम खड़े थे
उस खुशनुमा-ए-रात में
और उन झरोखो के पर्दो को थामे
खड़ी मैं
तेरा दीदार करते हुए
और जानते हुए
कि तेरा दीदार भी तो
खुदा की इनायत है मुझ पर
ना जाने फिर कब होगा
पर इन अश्को ने कर दिया हो जैसे बयान
उस चाहत का
जो हैं.....
तेरे रूबरू होने की चाह में
रास्ता बिच्छाए तेरे इंतेज़ार में!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow at this time
At this hour
I will be some place else
I will be too far

Tomorrow will bring a new day
Tomorrow again the sun will shine
Tomorrow will bring it's new learnings
Tomorrow hope will give some new signs

Tomorrow I'll be someone else
From the extra day's learnings in my life
Tomorrow I will grow to be better
And I'll be happier if I strive!

Scars

What is the shame
Why is this world so lame
I take pride in my scars
I carry them proudly

I'm proud of what I've been through
And what I have sustained
I still feel happy and loved
Atleast that is maintained

They show me I'm strong
And that, life's an adventure
Can't live my life in fear
Can't sacrifice living 'coz of censure

They show me I can do a lot of things
Without being afraid
If you live your life fully
Price is already paid

समाज!

क्यू आसान है
उन सभी के बारे मे बाते करना
जो अब नही है
उनके किए हुए कामो पर
और उनके चरित्र पर
कीचड़ उछालना
क्या सच्चाई की भूख
इतनी ज़रूरी है?
सच्चाई जानना ज़रूरी तो है
पर क्या मूल्य चुकाना होगा हमे
और इस समाज को
अपनी मान्यताओ और कल्पनाओ
की हवस को शांत करने के लिए
जो बढ़ रही है
दिन पे दिन
जिन पर कोई लगाम नही है
बेरोक टोक आगे बढ़ रही हैं
समाज का गंदा चेहरा
सामने लाने के लिए
कहाँ रुकेगा ये
कहाँ थामेगा ये?

समझ से परे!

क्या है बच्चो में ऐसा
कि उन्हे देखते ही
खिल उठता है मॅन
और मुस्कुरा जाए जी

जैसे वो भोलापन
आज भी हमारा हिस्सा है
या उसे पाने की चाह है
या उसे गवाने का गम

जैसे उनकी मुस्कुराहट
फैल जाए
हवा की तरह
और आप एकटक देखते रहो उन्हे
मुस्कुराते हुए और खुद पर हसते हुए

क्या हो अगर हम
खुश रह सके ऐसे ही
अपने आप में
इस संसार की खुशियो में
जो लोगो से परे है
दूर है
और खूबसूरत है
हमारी समझ से परे!

Letter to uncle!

Dear Uncle,
I will be late
Please don't wait
Because I hate
When you wait and procrastinate
You predate
On the lonely girls
Out on a date
With mate
In the state
So I'll not come home
Not tonight, not any night
Until it's next date!

~ written by 2 buddies inspired by my poetry skills, dedicated to some uncle!

Not gonna pay

You'll not get what you had
What is going on in your mind
It would have been good if possible
But life doesn't work in rewind

The time of falling in love
And blushing at each other's appearances
The smiles exchanged thru the tables
Or late night beautiful dances

The proposal and the acceptance
Saying "I love you" for the first time
And deciding it's gonna be forever
Waiting for our destiny to intertwine

But that's long gone
And times have changed
Things can never be what they used to be
That's how life is arranged

So forget the world, forget the faith
Go far and go away
The truth of world is different
Be assured, It's not gonna pay

No free lunches

Stop living in dreams
Face the reality
World is a competition
It's not a charity

There is no money
To be spent on "others"
Even love and respect
When "used", it bothers

The world is full of thorns
No rose bunches
This is true
There are no free lunches

Without any doubt

I'm waiting for you
I'm slowing down
Don't wanna take that path
And go round and round

I need to be patient
And I want to be
The sadness today
Might be tomorrow's glee

This is my signal
This is putting my heart out
If you be like this, you'll loose me
Without any doubt!

Life's too short

How long should I wait
To say it aloud
I am not sure right now
Inside my mind there's a cloud

But will I ever be sure
Like this, the rain of emotion's gonna pour
I might wait until I get a signal from you
If you can't give many, atleast try few

Somehow I feel, you feel it too
Probably worried if it's real and true
Maybe I'm gonna say it anyway
Life's too short to waste my day!

Liberation

The words
The conversation
And the excitement
The smile
The repetitions
And the sentiment
The beauty
The flirtation
And the acknowledgement
The love
The liberation
From this ailment!

Frozen

I hear the voice of rain
Takes away all my pain
I can see the wet trees and leaves
On this thousand dreams my mind weaves

I hear birthday songs somewhere
People are happy with those who care
I hear sounds of young kids
Reminds of something, making memory so vivid

I love the songs that play while I roam
Denver singing country roads take me home
I'm part of each and every moment
Wish I could enjoy more while time stands frozen!

Turmoil

Hit me hit me hit me hard
My brain has stopped
It doesn't start
It might need some screws
Might need some oil
Bring something with you
Save it from the turmoil

Whirled

There are days
You just wanna cry
Tired of everything
You don't even want try

Things seem hopeless
Like they have no meaning
What do I expect from this world
I need to stop dreaming
Of being in a better place
Of being in a hopeful world
Like I am standing still at a spot
While the world around me just whirled!

Misfit!

Revenge
It sure feels good
It sure feels nice
Is it the right thing to do
Is it wise?

There are some reasons
Which just are part of the society
Human shouldn't mean what it does
It is just another animal, far more ugly

Do I get back
What I have lost
but the fire of revenge
Doesn't really exhaust

Do I mean nothing should be done
Just sit like this, be a coward?
I find myself incapable of answering it
I am not part of this world, just a misfit!

Attempt

It's not my comfort zone
But I wanna try
I want to make it useful
Until it's too dry

I run away
And I breathe
On the sweat and unsuccessful attempts
I try to feed

The words remain incomprehensible
And I am incompetent to explain
The more I try to attempt
The more it goes in vain!

Monkey versus human

Today I saw  group of monkeys and I had a red packet in my hand. I remembered someone telling me that monkeys generally snatch things that are bright in color and I thought what if he tries to do that. I can't even argue with him because it's an "animal". But then I realized what if he were a human being coz we sure can argue in our own species with common language. What if he wanted to snatch it. Could I have argued with him; Saying no it's of no use to you? Or no, it's important to me please don't take it?
But then I suddenly realised how scary ot would have been in that case. Much more scarier. Monkey versus human!
And then I said to myself "jaanwar se darr nahi lagta sahab insaan se lagta hai"

The ruins

In the ruins of the world
Where I found life
Where they fought
Without thinking about day and night

Where we worked towards our freedom
And they, towards their life
As the world didnt know it
As they couldn't see the strife

In the heart of this place
Where their cemetery is erected
Where we respected their memory
Where our own people also died
But their names? In the ruins they hide!

The world seems so beautiful today
And the most peaceful is this place
What the place has seen
Can't be described in simple ways

Unanswered

Today I need to write
Because something is not right
No it is not you
Probably because it's always you

No, I am fine
There is something with this time
When I want to sleep
My thoughts go too deep

And I worry about the world
and things that I have heard
and I then, question my existence
What did we do to have this consequence

Nothing provides that answer
I wait until it goes darker
Trying to sleep, I tell myself a new day will come
Probably with answers, if not all then some!

Heart with a crack!

In the struggle
Of taking small steps
Afraid to fall again
Afraid to call your name

In the struggle
Of moving forward
Afraid of getting hurt
Afraid of tasting dirt

In the struggle
Of forgetting you
Afraid of loving someone
Afraid of again being certain

In the struggle
Of loving my own self
Afraid of hiding my heart with a crack
Afraid of moving to a place with no coming back

Ages ago!

I understand who I am
and what I have become
I understand who are you
And that you have become numb

But heart is not easy to please
It is not easy to capture
When I not see you here with me
My heart just rapture

But I am going blank
And I am going numb
You may forget something
But you still understand some

You know what I feel
You know what I am going through
Words sometimes do lie
They aren't always true

I don't know what I'm trying to say
I don't know where is this going to go
My mind has stopped working
It's like I knew you ages ago!

लालसा

इंतजार तुम्हारा
और उन यादो का
जो तुम्हारे साथ बनानी हैं
ये आँखें जो इक टक तेरी राह देखतीं  हैं 
और दिन रात देखतीं हैं
तेरे सपने
तेरी आगोश में सिमटने के
तुझे पाने के
जैसे ढूढ़ना हो
नए नए प्यार का वो ज़ायका
वो स्वाद
कभी मीठा
कभी खट्टा
और कभी कड़वा
पर फिर भी दोबारा चखने की लालसा

False understanding

The false understanding of the world
And the life
And love
And everything else

The false understanding of age
Emotions
Feelings
And what way to behave

The false understanding of faith
And fidelity
In being consistent
And persistence

The false understanding of own self
And hopes
Needs
And expectations

Either Or

You have it all
Whatever you need
Whatever you can ask for
If only you pay heed

Right there before your eyes
Your world will fold
And you are happy about it
That's what I'm told

Then why do I feel you still miss me
And why do you feel you still own me
To say what you feel
To say what you want

Do you realise what your words do to me
Do you know what they make me see
Life is already tough, don't make it more
Clarify the situation of either or or!

The aftermath of BBC documentary - India's daughter - Nirbhaya Rape

The much talked about documentary India's daughter is banned in India and they want to ban it in other countries too. Frankly when I heard about such documentary, I wasn't interested in watching it until I found out it was banned and I heard some stupid reasons here and there about banning it.
So the documentary has two point of views, one, parents and social activistism telling their story and two, the rapist and his lawyers who talk about why rape is "normal" and how it can be "avoided" by women. 

The documentary is disturbing. It is definitely no children stuff. It gives you a hopeless view of the situation in the country for women. Whoever has watched it, has felt there is no scope of improvement in our society and that's how women are looked at. This was possibly the reason a male student was denied internship outside India. This has come out in open but I am sure that is what most of people must be thinking about all men in India. In that way this video is indeed dangerous. Also, the video gives an impression that whether educated or un-educated that's how people think. 

I am trying to understand, why this video is so disturbing in many ways especially for women. Hopefully after reading this article, we can differentiate the reasons, facts and inherent fears which can be baseless.

And, other important thing to understand is the reasons to ban it. They say it can be a threat to nation and can start mass protest. Nothing like that happened. People watched it and discussed it on social media. News channels and papers discussed about why it was banned and whether it should have been banned and the psycho-analysis of rapists.

On it's part BBC did what a story searching channel would do; interview the victims family and the perpetrators and others associated with the case. What went wrong? For our government? For people watching it? for BBC?

I guess banning it, made it even better for BBC. It made more people to watch it. But wasn't the story discussed at length in India by our media? The difference was the interview of the rapist and reflection of his attitude on Indian mentality. The whole world including Indians somewhere generalized for all men in India. We as Indians, probably don't realise it that much because we have lived here, known our men, probably have segregation in our mind who is safe and who isn't and that all men are not alike (Indian or any other). We probably don't realise the repercussions it has. But this isn't the first rape in India which has become an International news. What this documentary changed is scary, "people in India believe rapes are normal and every Indian man wants to practice moral policing". 

I am a woman living in India. Do I travel alone in late evenings on the street? No, I don't. Has this fear reduced my mobility and options of work/having fun? It has. Will I always live in fear? Probably yes. But do I think all men are alike? that every men in India think like what that guy said in the documentary? BIG NO.

My next question, what can be done? Are we gonna leave it at where BBC left it? India is hopeless. Men just want to rape every women at street. Or leave at where government left it? ban it. Avoid answering questions related to it and close eyes, do nothing. or do what what people in India are doing? Watch it. Share the video on social media. Say that rapist and the lawyers are inhuman. Full stop? The end? 

We all have responsibilities. As government, I think first it should un-ban the video and say we accept it happened but also make the position clear. This is not what India is but we accept that incident had these reasons. It is high time that we have better systems for rape victims in the departments of medical help, police and judiciary. 

I still wonder what should be done with those lawyers. Do they believe in what they said? or did they say all that to be part of "The" BBC video. I don't know how the defense lawyers make their point while defending a rapists in the court. In my limited sense, they should try to understand if wrong person is captured in case victim cannot recognize him or probably where false allegations have been made for some malicious reason. but defending a rape? defending someone who is proven rapist? Something has to be done with those guys. Maybe ban them from practicing but i don't know if another "ban" is the right choice.

As media and us, the audience, after all those "banning" discussions are we going to talk about the solutions. We can probably make some Part-2 video wherein we clarify that crimes aren't part of some socio-economic groups and "poor" in India aren't looking for women to rape. To show that when you see a person from a particular social economic back ground here, you don't categorize him as "potential rapist". 

And, very important, probably most, change our thinking towards a rape victim. It has been said million times and it is nothing new. The way she is treated and not accepted in the society. We, as people can atleast do that. We can atleast decide about ourselves, a conscious decision and teach the generations to come. 

It is important for us to not let the world think that we are a country of rapists but more importantly, focus on the problems within our society and our thinking. The documentary has shown things which we have been avoiding; our impression in the world and moral policing as a reason for rape. It's time we look at these problems eye to eye and work on them.

Loss or gain

The feelings that made me, me
The feelings that made you, you
And what made us One
I have no clue

You're here with me
Sitting across
Smiling looking at me
Putting the world at pause

You are a part of me
And you'll always remain
There are things that can't be changed
Whether it's a loss or gain!

Too late!

Why do I love you?

This much..

Am i hopelessly romantic?

Am I not logical?

I am logical and calculated

and I know you know that too

and that's the reason

I want you

It can be beautiful

It can be best

We compliment each other

In best of ways

If you don't think like that

Its something I can't change

but I hope you don't realize it

After it's too late!

Talking 'bout!

Stop me, let me not go away

I know we can be good

We can be better

Use your brain, use your heart

Don't sit like a wood

Aren't we supposed to be together

Aren't we supposed to be forever

Wasn't it good

Won't you say if I would

Time is short

It is running out

You know what it is

You know what I am talking 'bout!

Can I?

It's just a comfort

Nothing beyond it

To take my mind off

A lot of things

Sooner or later we realize 

Things that won't matter in long run

And the obsessions fade

Go away

Without even asking for permission

Although I'd have happily given it

But not this way

Not like this

It may feel good

It is not right

It may be right too

But I don't want

I want to run away

Can I or I can't?

Your love!

Your laughter
And saying everything in that smile
Without walking even one step
You cover a mile

The glances that you steal
Make me fall on my knees
In this season of summer
They are like sea breeze

Your words
Which are rare
But beautiful
They only come out for me
Coz you care

Your love
Which makes me who I am
Shows me the mirror
You there with me in the reflection
Makes it look more clear

You're my sun
You're my sunshine
When you are here with me
Everything else falls in line!

Without you

Sad
Upset
Hopeless
But not miserable
Without you

Hoping
Longing
Praying
For you to come back
But not dying
Without you

Alone
Lone
But not lonely
Without you

Back to life

The words of pain
The words of honor
The confusion
And the understanding
Which can be misunderstood
The comfort of relying on the unknown
And feeling unsafe from knowing
The reality
The truth
Feeling submerged in the ocean
Of thoughts
And emotions
Not willing to swim across
And find the way
Back to life!

Scurry!

It's not steady

It's not right

This is the impression I get

Even if it is slight

It's not what the heart whats

It's not what can work

It may have something good

But not so much as perk

It can only be a replacement

It can only be temporary

But then, who knows if life is permanent

Everything is in such a scurry!

Love is gonna pay

Moving away

Moving on

Sounds so good

Sounds so wrong

The satisfaction I find in your love

and your memories

Be a part of you

and your glories

But it is needed

and it is gonna happen

Sooner or later

The heart's gonna be barren

Are you ready for this?

Will you be okay?

If we move away from each other

Love is gonna pay!

Sad and confused

Extreme pain I have been through
For no reason
I had my dreams
I had my hopes
From my life and from the world
Taken away from me
In one night, in one hour
In one decision
Of lust, impatience, greed
and how they perceived society
They may have found something from it
I have no idea
But I lost everything
and my loved ones
and our society lost it's face
Like it does, every time something like this happens
The world doesn't seem to learn
and how I am supposed to live
The next time I come to Earth
Do I need to pray to be man the next time?
Can I pray we can improve?
Change? Learn?
Do we have a place for women in society?
Is it ever gonna change?
Or I will have to see all this happening!
and live like this through ages or lives!
Is there a limit to which humanity can fall?
Or God has to re-do his creation
There is no need for two genders
We don't deserve the beauty of mother's love
The division of work, varied views and a family
The pleasure of falling in love or of sex
We need to be just one and only
Or I sound too pessimistic?
Towards the society and it's growth towards equality?
Thoughts and confusions
Shared with apprehensions
About the understanding we have and I have..

Engaged

The endless conversations
Or atleast intended
The topics started
Feeling splendid

The words hoping to say something
And say something else
Trying to make you laugh
Without making any sense

I don't know what to say
Is your presence making me nervous
Inside there is a turbulence
I may look peaceful on the surface

The yeses and the no's and the ummhmm
And the smiles exchanged
A thousand things in my life
But only this keeps my mind engaged!

It is gonna show

Sometimes when you are away
When you don't know
When you are coming back
It is gonna show
Inside of you

And you want to see it with naked eyes
Feeling it is there
You try but can't find it in the dark
It is gonna show
Inside of you

And you bleed
From all your half healed wounds
And when you scratch even the scabs
You wait there feeling the pain
It is gonna show
Inside of you

The changing seasons of emotions

The impatience that I have
The watch that I look at
Every five minutes
I expect it to be that

The empty eyes
And the long roads
The abrupt turns
Colorful boards

The power growing endlessly
And insides going weak
Beautiful from outside
Inside I reek

The abrupt arrival
And the million excuses
The meaningless explanations
She always muses

The time more spent
The more it feels to be smothered
The changing seasons of emotions
Around us it hovers

Wonder

I wonder what it is
Just a science not favouring us
Or it's just fate
Not on own sides

Is there any fate
Are rains mercy of Gods
Or His anger?
Are we destined to live like this
And die this way?

Is He doing it deliberately
Coz this is how it's supposed to end?
What I can do, is to surrender
While I continue to wonder
About His ways!

What is bliss

The weather
The wind
The blue sky
The black clouds
The green trees
The clean wet roads
My open hair
And my bicycle!!

Romanticizing

Best way to romanticize is nature and good music
Best way to romanticize is train window and rain outside
Best way to romanticize is good book and warm tea
Best way to romanticize is good weather and a park
Best way to romanticize is in the memories of your love
Best way to romanticize is mountain trek and warm sun
Best way to romanticize is waves touching your feet
Best way to romanticize is, in the middle of nowhere when you sing
Best way to romanticize is camping under open sky
Best way to romanticize is walk in the rain

Love at First sight

The love at first sight
Your face so bright
Just looking at you at the roof
My eyes wouldn't move

Meeting you at the bazaar
All my feelings came out of the jar
And when your hand brushed my arm
My heart became so warm

When I see you talking to other boys
I too wanna join to hear your voice
And then suddenly when you look at me
Knowing that I see
I blush and run away
I try and wish to stay
Yes this is love at first sight
Everything about it seems so right!

Suppress

What are you doing
Standing there
Taking my heart away
That's something rare

You look so perfect
When you stand in the neon
And with that smile of yours
My vision goes beyond

You don't have to give me that smile
You don't have to be so nice
I've so badly fallen for you
It's like my fate is written on a dice

I know you feel it too
I can see what all do you do
I know you want to impress
But my feelings, I'm just trying to suppress!