Review of Dust Child by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai

 "Dust Child" by Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai is a poignant and beautifully crafted novel that interweaves the lives of two sisters, Trang and Quỳnh, against the backdrop of the Vietnam War and its aftermath. Through the eyes of multiple characters, Nguyễn presents a tapestry of experiences that reveal the profound impacts of war. The narrative is rich and evocative, drawing readers into the heart of Vietnam. Having visited the country, I found Nguyễn's descriptions of the villages and landscapes vividly authentic, bringing back my own memories of the place. Her storytelling is compelling, and her ability to paint such a detailed and immersive picture of the setting is truly remarkable.

Trang and Quỳnh's story is heart-wrenching and deeply moving. Nguyễn writes with empathy and insight, allowing readers to connect intimately with their struggles and hopes. Their journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the face of unimaginable hardship. The closure Nguyễn provides at the end is satisfying and thoughtful, leaving readers with a sense of completion and peace.
The character of Phong stands out as particularly memorable. From the beginning, his story gripped me, and I was invested in his journey. Nguyễn skillfully develops his character, and the resolution of his storyline is both fulfilling and uplifting, offering a glimmer of hope and redemption. One of the most powerful scenes in the book is where an American soldier, an ARVN soldier, and a VC soldier sit together and pray. This moment encapsulates the themes of forgiveness and reconciliation, highlighting the possibility of healing even among former enemies. It is a beautiful and cathartic scene that underscores the emotional depth of the novel.

"Dust Child" is a short read, but it is densely packed with emotional and historical richness. I finished it in just three days, unable to put it down. Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai has created a work that is not only an eye-opener for those unfamiliar with the intricacies of the Vietnam War and its lasting effects but also a touching tribute to the strength and perseverance of those who lived through it. Nguyễn Phan Quế Mai's exquisite storytelling and profound character development make this novel a must-read for anyone interested in historical fiction and the human stories behind historical events.
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incense sticks

Incense sticks are widely used across religions to show our respect for the Gods we pray to and elders who have left us. I have also done the same out of habit when on rare occasions I have prayed in recent years and regular occasions when i used to pray as a child. 

The people from whom I learnt this process and with whom I have done this thousands of times are now on the opposite side and i am lighting these sticks for them as well. 

I have always thought that we do that to pay respect, to probably have a connection with the other world while we chant or say things we want to say to our God's or elders but I think it is more than that. 

It is act of showing that you care and you miss them and even if you're not putting the insence in front of their pictures; by putting them anywhere you feel you're with them, they are part of you, they are still with you. This clearly means atleast for me now, that I'm not doing anything for them but for my own self, for feeling calm, for showing my own self that i remember and care and miss them. 

All these things are for me, aren't they?

Things change...

I think it's only for 10-15 years of your life that you want your own time, away from your parents, grandparents or anyone older and caring in your home; When you imagine your life away from them; alone, brooding about the issues that life has presented you with. Unprepared and unable to share, mostly by choice you wish to remain in your own space. Sometimes these spaces are also spaces of happiness; of teenage; of love; of things you're either shamed of or too shy of. Over the years these things become meaningless and you long for the warmth, the care all the people brought to your life. You want to have it again and feel it again. Sometimes you miss it and feel guilty of avoiding it for years when you had it. Ofcourse, nothing can be done now. 

You can feel guilty, sad or feel jealous of others who have it. Be angry at those who don't value it; forgetting that you were there once. 

But it's a very short duration of not wanting it because when you do it's mostly either not available and available in a very different form which you cannot relate it. 

नौसिखिया से

 कभी कभी सोचती हूँ

शायद तुम खुश हो वहाँ

देखते हो मुझे वहाँ से

रहते हैं तारे भी जहाँ

सोचते होंगे मॅन में

क्यूँ तड़पती है ये हमारे लिए

हम तो हैं अब  वहाँ

जगमगाते हैं जहाँ हज़ारों दिए

रहने वाले रह जाते हैं

तड़पते हैं जाने वाले कीआस में

बिना पानी के कुए के पास खड़े हो जैसे

हो वो ऐसी प्यास में

मानना होगा मॅन में

अच्छे हे हैं वो उस दुनिया में

आएगा शायद वो समय भी कभी

अभी तो शायद हैं हम नौसिखिया से 

क्यूँ....

क्यू नही उस याद को
आज काट के फेंक दे
क़त्ल कर दे उसका
उसे लहूलुहान कर दे

क्यू ना उस मंज़र को
खुद से ऐसे जुदा कर दे

क्यू ना बहने दे खून को

क्यू ना आँचल को लाल करदे

क्यूँ उसे अच्छा माने
और खुद को बुरा
क्यू सब ग़लतियो की
खुद को सज़ा दे!

कुछ यादें....

कुछ यादें कभी नही जाती हैं
कुछ सपने कभी ख़त्म नही होते
कुछ लोग कभी भूले नही जाते
कुछ वादे तोड़े नही जाते
उसकी यादें राते सहलाती हैं
कुछ यादें कभी नही जाती हैं

कुछ लम्हो का बहुत मोल होता है
कुछ बाते के सहारे ज़िंदगी काट जाती है
कुछ यादें कभी नही जाती हैं!

पूछ लो...

अपनी परछाइयों से आज पूछ लो 

ये जिस्म की क्या सच्चाई है

कल दफ़्न है जिसने होना 

उससे क्यूँ तूने नीयत लगायी है 

आइने में दिखते उस अक्स से पूछ लो

इस ख़ूबसूरती की क्या क़ीमत लगायी है

आज तुझे पाना है जिसे 

कल हिजाब में वही सूरत छुपाई है

नींद में बड़बड़ाते उन वादों से पूछ लो

यहाँ सच बोलने की मनाही है 

ना खेलो इतना भी ना मुझसे

तुझे बस खुदाई की दुहाई है ।

क्यूँ...

इक सन्नाटा सा है चारों और 

इक आग सी लगी है 

क्यूँ बेरुख़ी सी है हवाओ में

रहम की फ़रियाद सी लगी है 

क्यूँ आता है कोई 

मंज़िलों को छोड़ के 

क्यूँ किसी की रास्तों में

आवाज़ ही नहीं है 

क्यूँ लिखता है कोई

हज़ारों गीत इश्क़ में

क्यूँ किसी के लिए

अल्फ़ाज़ की कमी है

क्यूँ कोई जी गया

तेरी यादों के सहारे से

क्यूँ कैफ़-ए-जावेदाँ में

बस मौत की कमी है ।

झूठी थी...

वो तेरे इश्क़ के फरमान झूठे थे
वो बेवफ़ाई के इनकार झूठे थे
वो दुनिया को सुनाए फसाने  झूठे थे
वो बीत गये जो रोते-हस्ते वो ज़माने झूठे थे

वो कहते हैं कि इश्क़ की रूह मे सच्ची इबाब्दात है
जो सबसे उपर महबूब को रखे, वही सच्ची मोहब्बत है
पर तेरे लिए मुझसे बढ़ कर तेरी खुदाई थी
तुझे उसके लिए मंज़ूर मेरी जुदाई थी

वो तेरे इश्क़ का रूप झूठा था
मेरे आने से दिखता तेरे चेहरे का नूर झूठा था
वो तेरे इश्क़ का जुनून झूठा था
वो सुकून झूठा था

वो इश्क़ की आतिज़्बाज़ी मे
हम झूम-२ के कहते थे
बस रूप तेरा हे सच्चा है
बस इश्क़ तेरा हे सच्चा है
वो तेरे इश्क़ मे दिखती रहनूमाई झूठी थी
वो तेरी सच्चाई झूठी थी
और मेरा इश्क़ भी तेरा अक्स-ए-मोहब्बत था
तो मेरे इश्क़ की सच्चाई
क्या वो भी झूठी थी...??

Just Because..

How I am closed inside?
I cannot move
I cannot say a word
For few days I haven't eaten.
Because my mother hasn't
She has been crying
I can feel it too.
I want to tell her no mother don't cry
But I don't know the reason why,
You are crying
And I have heard words...
Words that I don't quite understand,
But they make me feel unwanted.
I think they are going to kill me.
That's why my mother cries
And I heard what she says,
"How many times are you going to kill a child inside my womb just because she is a girl?"